Honey Badger Award for Extracurricular Excellence: Week 12

By Kris Hughes
Image Courtesy – KICKSTARTER

As the Honey Badger Award for Extracurricular Excellence race enters week 12, we thought it was time to spruce things up some and add our new scoring system. I know you’re all on the edge of your seats.

Any offenses related to bodily harm, theft,  or violence are worth three points, because in the grand scheme of things, these three acts are three times as stupid as anything else a college football player could do.

Any offenses that are alcohol related, but, um, more “creative” than just garden variety DUIs are worth two points. Garden-variety DUIs (which have basically become a weekly phenomenon) and other general shenanigans are worth one point.

We have two new entries this week — both that will “help” their respective schools move their way up the leaderboard. First off is the arrest of Penn State Nittany Lions 2013 recruit (yes, we’re counting that, it’s 2013) Zayd Issah. Issah was arrested for his alleged role in a counterfeit money scheme after attempting to use counterfeit bills at a McDonald’s in Susquehannah Township on March 9th.

Weak effort Zayd, weak. At least get busted using fake lettuce on something that will be worth the story. Big Macs? Nah, man, nah.

The second update of the week is the all-out brawl between football players from an HBAEE mainstay, the Washington State Cougars, and the Idaho Vandals.  Players from both teams were evidently at a party where a verbal altercation exploded into a fight outside in a church parking lot where Cougars wideout Mansel Simmons was knocked out cold and fractured his skull.

No arrests have been made as of yet, but we’ll file this one under general stupidity involving violence for both teams — three points a side in the bank. Mike Leach should be really proud of the effort his boys are giving off the field so far in 2013– setting the bar high.

Here’s the updated list with our new entrants and the revised scoring system for Week 12– still, still Rooooolll Tiiiide:

Alabama Crimson Tide  12 Four Man Assault for Snacks
Washington State Cougars  7 Pullman Party Shenanigans Including Cracked Skulls
Drew Loftus Pantsing Tequila
Leon Brooks DUI
Syracuse Orange  6 Markus Pierce-Brewester & Davon Wells Electronics Fetish
Texas Longhorns  5 Cayleb Jones Cracking Jaws
Connor Brewer Dorm Room MIP
Florida Gators  4 Jessamen Dunker Grand Theft Moped
Louchiez Purifoy Pot Possession
Penn State Nittany Lions  4 Zayd Issah Fake Lettuce for BigMacs
Akeel Lynch Criminal Mischief
West Virginia Mountaineers  4 Karl Joseph Domestic Violence
Travis Bell DWI
Colorado Buffaloes 3 Samson Kafovalu MIC & Other Bad Decisions
Kansas Jayhawks 3  Ben Heeney Battering Bouncers
USC Trojans 3 Junior Pomee Grand Theft Apple Products
Utah Utes 3 Niasi Leota Extreme Domestic Violence
Georgia Bulldogs 2 Ty Flournoy-Smith Reporting False Crime
Tennessee State Titans 2 Mike German / Joe Johnson Dance Party!
Texas A&M Aggies 2 Kirby Ennis Gun Charge
Arkansas Razorbacks 1 Austin Flynn DWI
Florida International Panthers 1 Prince Matt Pot Possession
Florida State Seminoles 1 James Wilder Failure to Appear
North Carolina State Wolfpack 1 Logan Winkles DUI
Ole Miss Rebels 1 Philander Moore Living Up to His Name
Utah State Aggies 1 Jake Doughty’s Love Affair With Substances
Washington Huskies 1 Austin Sefarian-Jenkins One Man Car Accident

* 3 points for each arrest which involves bodily harm or theft.
* 2 points for alcohol-related offenses that aren’t DUIs or non-theft arrests.
* 1 point for garden-variety DUIs and other miscellaneous low-level shenangians.

Join us next week as the fun continues!

Kris Hughes is a Senior Writer for Rant Sports. You can follow Kris on TwitterGoogle and Facebook.


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