What Do College Football And Good Friends Have In Common?

By Corey Elliot
Brett Davis-USA Today Sports Images

Contrary to quick replies via text where a “lol” is a “ha, that’s kind of funny”, I literally laughed out loud today while thinking about college football and the conferences like the way we think of our group of friends.

College football conferences are like groups of friends and the teams represent each individual within that group. I’m obviously not going to go through each division-1 conference, but this was essentially the two to three minutes of thoughts I had while driving today thinking of BCS conferences as groups of friends. Note that the dissolving Big East is not included. Just consider that conference the friend that moved away during high school.

Everybody has the friend who is the center of attention all the time. TexasAlabamaOhio StateUSC and Miami are all that guy — or girl — in the group that gets all the attention without trying. They were Mr. Popular in high school and there even came a point where you felt superior above this person. However, in the eyes of others, this particular person can do no wrong and therefore will always be Mr. Cool.

Then there is that friend that you know, more than any other friend you have, is your best friend because they are going to be there for you during the worst of times and best of times. They may not be the alpha in your group but there is a sentimental value this guy or gal holds in your heart. They aren’t complete black sheep, they can hold their own and they are all stand up guys: WisconsinOregonVirginia TechOklahoma and LSU.

But, of course, no group of friends could be complete without a few other characteristics. It seems like no matter what type of people make up your clique, it wouldn’t be complete without that one guy or girl who is extremely shadey.

They are a good-friend only when it benefits them and you all know you don’t co-sign the way they go about their business. You wouldn’t put it past them to cross you but at the same time you feel like they would have your back. It becomes extremely conflicting: NebraskaColoradoTexas A&MPitt and West Virginia.

With a few normal, well-balanced members of your clique aside, you get down to everyone’s favorite: The-friend-nobody-really-likes-but-nobody-will-tell-them-like-it-is-because-they-have-been-running-with-your-crew-forever. Everyone knows what I’m talking about. In fact, I think we are this friend in one group or another.

You know this guy or girl. He or she is the least liked, most annoying and if you had a survivor-style vote, the tribe would indeed speak to have this person removed. But at the end of the day, you grew up with this guy or girl so nobody has the heart to tell them “hey, we don’t really like hanging out with you.”: PurdueWashington StateIowa StateVirginia and Vanderbilt.

Last, but not least, there is that guy or girl always inviting themselves into your plans or trying to hang out with your crew all the time. There’s something about them that just isn’t very appealing and although you may have had a good time once or twice when they joined you and your circle of friends, they just don’t quite fit into the organic make-up of your buddies. Nice person, good intentions, but after being around this person for an hour, your thoughts are most likely “ok, I’m over this.” because they are unbearably agitating: Boise State and Notre Dame.

If college football conferences were groups of friends, each school would have the same characteristics you and your closest circle of friends has. At the end of the day, they are still your buddies no matter what category they fall in. The thought, though, is very funny because there is a school for each kind of guy or girl. My schools may be a bit different than yours, so, next time you have five minutes or you need to think of something random to clear your head, just write down your group of buddies and pair them with a school.

This is a solid laugh for the super fan.

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