If Zach Thomas Were in "Dirty Dancing"...

By Matt Gullette

As I was watching Zach Thomas’ press conference today, where he officially retired a Miami Dolphin after 14 seasons in the NFL, the only way I could keep myself from getting all teary-eyed was imagining the five-foot-11, 228-pound All-Pro getting his groove on in the 1980’s movie Dirty Dancing.

Is it just me, or does the Zach Attack actually look like the late-great Patrick Swayze (August 18, 1952 – September 14, 2009)? Think about it: both are Texas legends, and apparently both can dance, although judging by Zach’s ‘Soula Boy’ I’m not sure if he has what it takes for Dirty Dancing.

Who knows, though, if he takes some lessons from his brother-in-law maybe  Zach could have a future in Dancing With The Stars.

One thing’s for sure, though, both of these class-act men are two of my favorite people to ever walk the face of the Earth. They’re the only two guys cool enough and tough enough to be able to play Darry in The Outsiders.

So how bout it, Zach, would you like to spend some of your extra post-retirement time making a sequel to Dirty Dancing?

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