Alex Smith Renews his Subscription to the Resurrection

After Saturday’s best NFL Playoff game —Ever, Alex Smith becomes the beneficiary of several more 49er classics. And who would have thought? From the absolute depths of despair, just last year, where it’s constantly hot, to patenting several 49er classics, well …without question, his subscription will be renewed!

Also, and this is very important, with all of this ‘tebowing’ going on, I’m not in the least concerned with what Tim Tebow thinks about Alex Smith, and or, what he thinks of resurrections in general. By this time next year, Tim Tebow might just be too far gone to renew his subscription. I anticipate that the form letter, “Cancelled,” will visit Tim Tebow …shortly.

So —“The Game of Superlatives,” or Saturday’s battle between the Saints and the Niners, is actually the first time an NFL player has patented more than one classic in a lifetime, and —amazingly, it’s Alex Smith patenting two classics in a single game.

Now enter Alex Smith’s first Niner classic: The Bootleg!

Jim Harbaugh will get an assist for this Now-Niner-Classic. What a call! It was 3rd and seven. The ‘Sticks tundra was already screaming —Classic. Jim Harbaugh loaded the playbook, and the Bootleg Classic was born. The Niners needed to keep the drive alive. They actually needed to score. Jim Harbaugh called the play, Alex Smith took the snap, and all alone he ran 28 yards for a TD. This classic is now simply called: The Bootleg.

Like everybody said, what a call! R .W. McQuarters, cornerback for the Chicago Bears, agrees. He hates Bootlegs. The Bootleg has been the cure for fast, over-perusing defenses all year.

“…and then the offense goes with what looks like the same running play you’ve been killing and you feel real good, because all of the action is going the same way. But then the quarterback fakes the run to the back and keeps the ball and pivots and now he’s reversing the field …”

He goes on to say —“It’s like egg in your face.”

But apparently, one Niner-Classic wasn’t going to be enough for a 49er win Saturday. Drew Brees and the Saints weren’t ready to just sit and take it. They drove down the field and scored, just like that.

Now the Niners needed …another ‘Stick miracle! They needed another 49er classic. Alex takes the snap and it’s a pass too Vernon Davis —and another pass …

The Niners reach the Saints 14 yard line. Alex Smith takes the snap and it’s a 14 yard Td pass to Vernon Davis. The Niners take the lead with 9 seconds remaining. It’s over with a 49er victory!

Of course, some classics are very reminiscent of other classics. I’ve tried to talk to the 49ers creative director about the naming of last Saturday’s classic, but to no avail. I believe this second 49er classic seems to in need of a better title.

I heard some people refer to this play as: The Catch 3. What? And also, I’ve heard people call it: The Grab. That’s horrible. Could the creative director of the Niners be Sylvester Stallone? He always seemed to come up with titles with a number following them. That’s just bad, and it shows an incredible lack of imagination.

So I ask: What should the second 49er classic be named?

The End


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  • http://Gmail Brock Andres Vernal

    Timmy timmy timmy Ebsteins articles are very insightful!

    • timepstein

      I didn’t realize that was fully recognized —Yet. Thanks for reading.

  • BCHAUVIN

    GREAT WORK MR. TIM. BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE…. AND HERE’S TO THE SUBSCRIPTION OF THE NEXT RESURRECTION. GOOD WORK. ALEX SMITH IS SMILING.

    • timepstein

      I’m proud of how the 49ers are playing. That’s all, and thank you for reading!!

  • Peter

    The elite reception.