If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
My bold predictions through the first two weeks of the NFL season have been off target – really off target.
Still, it wouldn’t be another awesome NFL season without some ridiculous forecasts and wayward speculation. So here’s your weekly dose of bold predictions covering each of Week 3’s weekend showdowns.
The struggles continue for Jay Cutler, who can’t overcome a surprisingly-stout Rams defense. Cutler throws a couple interceptions as Sam Bradford and Co. come away with a close victory. Mark my words: St. Louis sacks Cutler five times.
Even though the Browns get increased production from rookie Brandon Weeden, the Bills pummel the Cleveland defense with the running game. C.J. Spiller cracks the 200-yard mark and makes fans forget all about the lost Fred Jackson.
The Buccaneers pick off Tony Romo three times, including two from Ronde Barber, and leave the Cowboys offense beaten and dejected, with their tails tucked between their legs.
This week’s “snoozer” will actually turn out to be a shootout between two young passers hoping to assert themselves as legitimate NFL quarterbacks. Andrew Luck and Blaine Gabbert combine for six passing touchdowns as the Colts sneak away with a close victory.
The Dolphins prove that the Jets’ Week 1 win was a fluke, running all over their defense as Reggie Bush racks up over 150 rushing yards and three touchdowns. Mark Sanchez continues to display subpar passing, tossing a pair of interceptions while amassing less than 200 passing yards.
This one won’t be pretty for the Vikings, who have had trouble defending the pass so far this season. Against a proven passer like Alex Smith, the secondary will crumble. Smith will pick up 300 yards through the air before letting the ground game carry the 49ers to the finish.
The battle of the winless teams yields little excitement as both teams struggle to get going on offense. Drew Brees, however, provides a small enough spark to put the Saints on top in a low-scoring bore-fest. Bold prediction: more than half of the Super Dome occupants are asleep by halftime.
This season has been ugly for Chris Johnson so far and it’s not going to get any prettier this week. The artist formerly known as CJ2K won’t break 15 rushing yards on the game as the Lions force Jake Locker to make plays for the Titans. That won’t work either, though, as Detroit comes away with a cakewalk win.
Robert Griffin III has his way with the Bengals’ subpar pass defense, lighting it up at home for 300 yards and three touchdowns. Andy Dalton has his own field day through the air, but the Redskins manage a come-from-behind win in a high-scoring affair.
What the what? Kevin Kolb continues to blow the minds of NFL fans everywhere as the Cardinals move to 3-0, handing the Eagles their first loss. While Kolb leads his team to victory, Michael Vick throws three interceptions and makes Philadelphia consider putting Nick Foles in the game.
Ryan Mathews makes his return to the field for the Chargers, but flounders. The injury-prone runner gets stuffed and forces Philip Rivers to take over. San Diego fails to keep up with the Falcons offense, though, as Matt Ryan throws for three touchdowns and lifts Atlanta to victory.
This was the first chance for the Texans to prove that they can win against a capable opponent, and they did just that. The Broncos have displayed impressive defense to start the season, but haven’t gone up against a rushing duo like Arian Foster and Ben Tate. Houston moves to 3-0, securing their standing as one of the AFC’s best.
The downward spiral continues for the Raiders as, once again, Darren McFadden is kept in check, totaling less than 30 yards on the day. The Steelers cruise to an easy win as the Oakland offense sputters out of the gates.
Hoping to dispel any doubt stemming from last week, the Ravens run up the score on the Patriots as their offensive overwhelms the New England defense. Ray Rice picks up 150 yards and two touchdowns on the ground before retiring to the bench during garbage time.
Feeding off of their momentum from last week, the Seahawks and rookie passer Russell Wilson come away with a last-minute win over the Packers. The Green Bay running game fails and Aaron Rodgers can’t do enough to overcome the deceitfully-dominant Seattle defense.
Another great week of inaccurate predictions… That’s how I roll.