This Week in NFL Dumbness
This Week's 5 Dumbest NFL Moves
The athletes and coaches of the National Football League are remarkable in many ways. They are physical specimens who have more athletic talent in their pinky fingers than people like me have in their whole bodies. Many of them look like Greek warriors. Most of them are diligent students of the game and hard workers who provide some of the most jaw-dropping highlight reels you will ever see. They are not, shall we say, always known for their sky-high IQs.
Sure, Ryan Fitzpatrick scored a 1530 on the SATs and Andrew Luck went to Stanford, but, by and large, most of the men in the NFL are not making millions off their brain power, and I’m not just talking about Wonderlic scores. They may be able to read an offensive scheme quicker than lightning, they may be able to find a weakness in a defense by the way a safety stands pre-snap, they may be able to jump a route thanks to hours of film study, but sometimes they lack that seemingly rarest gift of all: basic common sense.
Whether it’s Michael Vick saying his goal line fumble was “meant to be,” a coach icing his own kicker, a player making his mark on a police blotter, or Andy Reid and anything involving a challenge flag or a timeout, we’ll take a spin through the league and see the stupidest things said and done each week, on and off the field.
Click through to see the top five offenders from this week:
Maybe Ndamukong Suh should take some of his millions and hire a driver. Suh was involved in yet another car accident last week. Though a minor accident by reports, the big problem is that Suh left the scene.
This is the same guy who, while serving a suspension last year, was involved in a car accident, over which he is now facing a lawsuit. He was also ticketed for going more than 35 mph over the speed limit during the offseason.
Though he will not faces charges from this incident, Suh would probably be wise to let someone else do his driving for a while.
Pittsburgh Steelers rookie Alameda Ta'amu was arrested early Sunday morning on 15 charges. Fifteen. Among those: DUI; hitting several cars, including injuring at least one other driver; swerving across lanes; refusing to pull over or get out of his car to the point where police drew their firearms; and resisting arrest. When he did eventually, stop, he decided to take off his shirt and run.
Not surprisingly, the Steelers have suspended Ta’amu for two games. The rookie hasn’t even seen the field this season and I don't think this is going to help. I couldn’t even find a picture of him, but I imagine this is something how coach Mike Tomlin looked when he heard the news.
There’s nothing quite like that awful feeling of seeing your team, backed up against their own goal line and punting, and a defender come flying in. That’s what happened to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in their game against the Kansas City Chiefs early in the fourth quarter.
I imagine that awful feeling gets worse when you see your punter scramble for the loose ball in the endzone, run around for a bit with no direction, and then throw the ball directly to the opposing team who walks it in for a touchdown. Now, I know there’s not a whole lot Tampa Bay punter Michael Koenen can do on a play like that. You’re against your own endzone and you don’t want to give up a safety, but, for heaven’s sake, don’t throw the ball! Especially not that bad a throw! You’re a punter! Stick to what you know. Besides, by NFL rule, a ball cannot be advanced through the air following a blocked punt, so even if you hadn’t thrown it to the defender, what was your plan? It’s a bit of an obscure rule, sure, but one that every punter should know since it relates directly to them. Kansas City linebacker Edgar Jones, who caught the interception (which is technically ruled as a fumble recovery because of the rule) said of the play: “He just kind of looked at me and just threw it. I'll take it.”
All’s well that ends well, however, as the Buccaneers beat the Chiefs by four scores.
While throwing touchdowns right and left on Sunday night, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers attempted a rushing touchdown. He was successful and celebrated with by pulling out the championship belt in a big way. Unfortunately, while Aaron was dancing in the endzone, the Green Bay offense was being backed up for a holding penalty which nullified the touchdown. To add injury to insult, Rodgers sheepishly admitted that he did hurt his leg a bit on the run.
Now, this isn’t too bad, but I need to prove that I’m not at all biased towards the Green Bay Packers, even if they are the greatest team to ever play the game. It was all moot, anyway, as Rodgers threw for a touchdown on the drive en route to a 42-24 win over the Houston Texans.
Jason Garrett and the Dallas Cowboys
The Dallas Cowboys were in a tough battle with the Baltimore Ravens and it came down to the wire. The Cowboys were able to recover an onside kick and were at the Ravens’ 34-yard line with a new set of downs. Down two points, 26 seconds left on the clock, and the Cowboys had a timeout. This is really not so bad a situation - totally winnable. The Cowboys throw a short pass to Dez Bryant, who is unable to get out of bounds. 22 seconds left now. Should they take their timeout now? Or should they try to get a play or two off first? 20 seconds …. 18 seconds … Guys? You’re going to do something, right? Right??
Nope. Unless doing something means waiting until the clock is down to 4 seconds, calling a timeout, and sending your kicker out for a 51-yard field goal, which he missed.
How does a professional football team have 22 seconds left and a timeout and fail to get a play off? What exactly was Jason Garrett doing on the sidelines during this time? How did the Dallas Cowboys not have a handful of go-to plays for situations just like this one? What on earth do they practice for during the week? Cowboys fans must have been so incredibly frustrated with this loss. The Cowboys did the hard part - recovering the onside kick - but blew it on the part that should have been easy: having a play ready!