Reasons Why Your Favorite Top 10 NFL Team Secretly Sucks
Analysis in the NFL is too much of the same. Too often we spend countless hours arguing about which top team is truly the best, and which bottom team will eventually be rewarded with the top pick in the NFL draft. Sometimes we should take the time to be different, so I'm here to tell you why the top teams in the NFL actually suck for one reason or another. The top 10 list is based off my most recent NFL Power Rankings.
Considering there is not a dominant team in the NFL right now, this should be fairly easy. Yes, the Atlanta Falcons are undefeated, but they have struggled to beat some of the bottom tier teams in the season this season. A win is a win in the NFL, but if I were a fan I'd be worried when the playoffs started. The Falcons will be largely untested when they get into the NFC playoffs, as the New York Giants are really their only top NFC team they will have played.
I don't want to pick on the Falcons, so this slideshow will feature the top 10 teams in the league and why they actually suck. Not to be considered a bitter fan of one of the teams outside this list, I am a fan of the Giants, and will probably be harder on them than any other team.
The criteria for this list could be anything. It could be how the team's stadium sucks, it could be how the fans suck, or it could be an aspect of the team that sucks. Basically, I've found a reason why every team on this list sucks, and I want to tell the world.
Enjoy, and if you have more reasons than the ones I listed, please share in the comments section below.
10. New York Giants
It's not hard to find reasons why the Giants suck. From a team aspect, they are one of the more frustrating teams to be a fan of. They are the most inconsistent team in the entire league in the regular season. You can pretty much guarantee they will completely lay an egg on one or more occasions during the season. They've already had a couple terrible games this season against the Philadelphia Eagles and Pittsburgh Steelers.
They also, for some reason, play worse when they are at home. There is little more frustrating than your favorite team not being able to win in their own stadium. It is why Giants fans have such a bad reputation because they can be seen booing the Giants at many of their home games. New Yorkers call things like they see them, and they aren't afraid to let the players know how they feel.
The Giants also have an awful offensive line, and it makes it even more frustrating when Tom Coughlin plays David Diehl at right tackle despite having a better option in backup Sean Locklear. Locklear started six games and the Giants went 5-1 in those six. In the three games Diehl started, the Giants are 1-2, and the one win came when Diehl got hurt.
It also doesn't help that the Giants are one of the most injury prone teams in the league, and rarely field their best team year in and year out. You can say the same about every NFL team, but the Giants have it particularly bad.
9. Denver Broncos
The main reason the Denver Broncos suck is I hate their fans for perpetuating the Tim Tebow phenomenon, and I hate Kyle Orton for sucking enough to give their fans a reason to want Tebow to start. Tebowmania is one of the most annoying sports topics ever, and now that he's on the New York Jets we are still forced to hear about how he should be starting because of what he did in Denver. I will never forgive Broncos fans for this.
Another reason the Broncos suck is how much we have to hear about the Peyton Manning and Eric Decker connection being the next fantastic duo in a line of several white receivers that have had their careers made by Manning. Ironically, Brandon Stokely is on the Broncos right now and caught a huge touchdown in the game against the San Diego Chargers, and Stokely was the first in this line of players who got way more publicity than they ever would have without Manning. I hate Manning for the fact that I know who Blaire White and Jacob Tamme are.
8. Baltimore Ravens
The Baltimore Ravens are going to suck the rest of the season and there are no two ways about it. When you lose Ray Lewis and your best starting corner Lardarius Webb, things are not going to trend upwards. One of the main reasons the Ravens suck though, with or without these defensive players, is offensive coordinator Cam Cameron and his refusal to give Ray Rice enough touches each week. When the Ravens get Rice involved, they are a much better team. It isn't rocket science.
For some reason, Cameron wants to let Joe Flacco throw the ball all over the place at times, and more often than not it gets the Ravens into trouble. Oh, and let's not ignore the fact that fantasy football owners also hate Cameron for this reason. Cameron is as inept a play caller as I've ever seen, and the Ravens will never win a ring with him calling the shots.
I will also never forgive Lee Evans for dropping the pass that would have sent the New England Patriots home last season. The last thing we need is Tom Brady making more Super Bowls that he should not have made.
7. New England Patriots
It is not hard to find reasons why the Patriots suck. First and foremost, they got caught blatantly cheating and, strangely enough, have not won anything of note since Spygate was uncovered. Any team that has enough arrogance to cheat and think they won't get caught deserves at least a little hatred from all other fan bases.
I also can't stand the fact that the generation of Patriots fans mostly were not fans before the year 2000. The Patriots have about as big, if not a bigger bandwagon than the Dallas Cowboys. Even people who are from Boston didn't like the Patriots before they became the Patriots. All of a sudden this team finds a gold mine combination coach and quarterback and they think they're the best fan base in the country. Give me a break. People from the area also have this innate feeling that they are better than all other fans just because they suffered for so long with the Boston Red Sox. Yea, because the Boston Celtics didn't win very much or anything. Cleveland called, they want me to tell you Boston sucks.
There is also the Giants fan in me who can't stand the fact that everyone says the Giants got "lucky" when they beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Yea, because holding the most prolific offense in NFL history to 14 points is lucky. Give credit where it is due, or just shut up.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers
The Pittsburgh Steelers are another team that it's not hard to hate because of their fans, who think they're tough because it's "Steeler country" and they are the toughest state in the union. OK, I have respect for those of you who are actually in the steel industry, but that probably makes up about five percent of the actual fan base. The Steelers are the only team that can pack a Buffalo Wild Wings with fans anywhere in the country; I got news for you, there aren't that many people from Pittsburgh.
The Steelers also suck because of how much of a blow hard Ben Roethlisberger is. He's the biggest tool, a womanizer and an all-around jerk, but their fans will defend him all day long. Just one of you please admit to me that you hate him as a person, but respect him as a football player. Also, it cannot be fun to be an offensive lineman on the Steelers given how much Big Ben holds on to the ball.
Also, I will never forgive the Steelers for allowing Tim Tebow to throw for over 300 yards in the playoffs. It made Skip Bayless that much more insufferable considering he has to remind me of that EVERY time they talk about Tebow. It's become his battle cry for supporting Tebow, and it could have all been fixed if someone had just covered the only decent wide receiver on the roster.
5. Green Bay Packers
The Green Bay Packers suck because their defense is a joke and are lucky they have such a ridiculously explosive offense and can get away with being terrible on that side of the ball. This is the same team that set the record for the worst pass defense in NFL history and still went 15-1. I'm so glad the Giants were able to shut them up in the playoffs last season and expose them for the average team they really were.
They also suck because it is impossible to figure out which Packers wide receiver is going to be fantasy relevant week in and week out. Can't you pick a favorite, Aaron Rodgers? Thankfully Greg Jennings got hurt and made it easier for people to sort the weapons out, but one week Jordy Nelson has 180 yards and three touchdowns, and the next it's not clear whether he's in the stadium or not. You would also think that since the offense is so explosive that at least ONE of their many running backs would be worth owning. But no, because even when the Packers get close enough for a run, you either get a 1-yard touchdown pass or a run by John Kuhn, a person every fantasy football player hates with a passion.
The Packers also suck because Chris Berman would refer to Lambeau Field as the "Frozen Tundra" even if Satan was raining molten fireballs over the state of Wisconsin.
4. San Francisco 49ers
The San Francisco 49ers suck because of how good the fans had it at quarterback for 20 straight years and now they cannot admit that Alex Smith is not very good. Smith has his moments like any other quarterback, but if the 49ers win the Super Bowl (like I predicted they would) it will not be because Smith wills them to victory. It will be because the defense is incredible and even Brandon Jacobs looks good running behind that offensive line.
The 49ers also suck because of how many times I have to hear that locker room chant from Jim Harbaugh across all sports channels. I want to go to Candlestick park for their next home game and scream "Giants!" the next time Harbaugh asks his team who has it better than them.
I also find it quite annoying that 49ers fans were nowhere to be found in September of 2011, but once they realized the 49ers were going to be good they came out of the woodwork and pretended they were there all along. Nice try 49er fan, but it's not working. It also doesn't help that when ESPN's Outside The Lines did a report on fan-on-fan crimes at stadiums, most of it centered around incidents at Candlestick. Stay classy, 49ers fans.
3. Chicago Bears
The Chicago Bears suck because their offense is God-awful and are lucky because they have a defense that scores about just as much as some offenses in the NFL. Seriously, the Bears have scored eight touchdowns via defense and special teams. The Jacksonville Jaguars have scored 11 offensive touchdowns this season. The Bears cannot protect Jay Cutler against a defense with any semblance of a pass rush, and I'm struggling to figure out why J'Marcus Webb still has a job in the NFL.
They also suck because of how many times Bears fans have fired Lovie Smith over the years, but now that he's had moderate success all of a sudden he's been the right guy all along. It's akin to the relationship Giants fans had with Tom Coughlin until December of 2011. Though, to be fair, Smith sometimes takes failure to a new level with his decisions on timeouts, challenges and other head coaching decisions. He's a good enough x's and o's guy, but his decision making is questionable at best.
I also cannot stand the constant comparisons and the seemingly incessant need for everyone to talk about the 1985 Bears. Every single good defense gets compared to that group, and ultimately never live up to them. Why don't people compare defenses to the 2000 Ravens? It's because the Bears' one championship season has to be glorified to the highest degree in a city mostly devoid of rings. Probably the most annoying part is people who weren't even born yet revere the '85 Bears as the greatest defense ever, and talk about them as if they lived it. Until the Bears win another championship, we're never going to hear the end of it.
2. Houston Texans
The Houston Texans' fan base is a prime example of a group of people being set up to have a complete let down in the very near future. The Texans won their first ever playoff game last season even without starting quarterback Matt Schaub and are off to a 7-1 start this season. Despite being in Texas, where football is a religion, the Houston franchises have seen little to no success over the years. The Oilers blew a 35-3 lead in the playoffs to the Buffalo Bills in the mid 90s, which was basically the beginning of the end of the Oilers in Houston. The fans gave up on the team and forced Bud Adams to leave town.
After eight dormant years the Texans are showing so much promise, but the eventual let down is coming. This is a city that has seen literally zero championships in both baseball and football, so to expect them to win the Super Bowl is a lofty expectation. Losing Brian Cushing was the first step. The defense will not be the same without him and will eventually be exposed in the playoffs. You almost have to feel sorry for Texans fans. They have an average head coach and an average quarterback, which will eventually rear its ugly head. It's inevitable.
Something bad is going to happen, which will not only crush the fan base, but give them excuses and perpetuate the insufferable "wait 'till next year" arguments from the fans. Every year is next year in Houston.
1. Atlanta Falcons
The Atlanta Falcons are the new version of the Cowboys. They have been great in the regular season over the past few years, but have been terrible in the postseason. Matt Ryan is 0-3 in the playoffs, but more importantly has disappeared on the game's biggest stage. The Falcons have lost their playoff games with Ryan by an average of 18.3 points. They don't just lose playoff games, they find ways to look about as bad as you can look. The defense actually outscored the offense against the Giants last season.
The Falcons also suck because they cannot beat bad teams convincingly, leading you to never trust their ability to get over the hump in the playoffs. When you beat the Carolina Panthers and Oakland Raiders by a combined five points, forgive me for thinking they won't beat the Packers or 49ers if given the chance. The Falcons could be the second team ever to go 16-0, and I still wouldn't pick them to win their divisional playoff matchup. Unless of course the Cowboys somehow make the playoffs.