Doug Martin Hates His Nickname, Comes Up With Something Worse
Doug Martin exploded onto the scene in the last few weeks with a pair of breakout performances for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. His rise has made his unfortunate nickname, the “Muscle Hamster,” appear everywhere and Martin is tired of it. So his agent asked Twitter to come up with a new one…and it is somehow worse.
The “Muscle Hamster” nickname was given to him during his college days with the Boise State Broncos by his teammates who teased him and his then-girlfriend, who was a gymnast with the same short, muscular frame as Martin. The running back hated it immediately and hoped it wouldn’t follow him to the NFL.
But after setting a franchise record with his 251-yard performance in the Black Hole against the Oakland Raiders, the Bucs rookie can’t escape it. So he has turned to America to find him a new one. Some of the choices, with Martin’s reaction:
- Dougie Smash, Dougie Flash: “Nah, I don’t like those.”
- Baby Rhino: “It doesn’t do it for me.”
- D-Mart: “That’s too easy.”
- MegaMan: “Yeah, that’s not bad.”
- Torpedo: “Torpedo?” (laughs)
- Flash Martin: “Nah.”
- Sweet Feet: “Nah, not my thing.”
- Bulldozer: “Do I look like a bulldozer? Nah.”
- Mighty Mouse: “Come on, hamster and mouse are the same thing!”
- The Rabid Hamster: “That doesn’t even make sense!”
- BullDoug: “No. That’s not good.”
- Buc’n Bronco: “Not gonna work”
- D-Train: “That’s all right.”
- Martin Scoreseasy: “That’s more of a poster-type quote, not a nickname.”
- Dougernaut: “Hey, that’s not bad. Yeah.”
So the incredibly picky Doug Martin sifted through the selections and landed on..Dougernaut?
While the play on the word juggernaut is clever, it doesn’t really fit. A juggernaut is defined as a large, overpowering, destructive force or object. Martin has been on fire of late, and has certainly been impossible to stop, but at 5-foot-9, he’s anything but “large” or “overpowering.”
Plus, “Dougernaut” sounds like the way a three-year old who hasn’t developed the ability to make the j-sound would say juggernaut.
Maybe we should just start calling Doug Martin, “The Man Doomed To Have Terrible Nicknames” instead. Seems to fit him better.
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