Super Bowl XLVII: San Francisco 49ers vs. Baltimore Ravens Drinking Games

By Derek Kessinger
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports


How big is the Super Bowl? As we get prepared for the Harbowl between the San Francisco 49ers vs. Baltimore Ravens we can choose from a variety of drinking games. To play the following drinking games you have a selection of official beverage sponsors, the staple being Anheuser-Busch, who will be promoting Budweiser, Bud Light and the new Budweiser Black Crown (sounds delicious I know). On the soda side, both Coca Cola and Pepsi will once again throw their hats into the rings to cancel each other out in the popularity contest. Also, Mio, a Kraft product that you stir into your drink is acceptable.

Now that you have your official drink, get ready for the ultimate drinking game.

Beginning Consumers:

Drink every time someone scores- The over/under for the game is 47.5 points. That’s going to come out at almost seven touchdowns. Of course they could go for field goals, but that’s going to lower the score even more.

Drink every time the Mannings are mentioned- Archie Manning played in New Orleans. Eli Manning won the Super Bowl last year. Peyton Manning owns some Papa Johns Pizzas. They’re going to come up. 

Drink every time Alex Smith is on television- Alex Smith was San Francisco’s starting quarterback for nine games this season. He’s suddenly the step-sibling you don’t want to mention at this party; especially since the country is still recovering from a recession where a lot of other people lost their jobs.

Drink when Ray Lewis’ criminal past comes up- There’s no way that CBS and the NFL want to ruin the best storyline they have for this year. Ray Lewis going out on top, no matter what he did in his past. This might be a good one for people who don’t want to drink. Did you know Ray named one of his kids Raven Lewis? Wonder if Raven knows what Deer Antler spray is?

Drink every time Craig Ferguson is promoted- CBS’ Late Late Show host is slated to do a live show from New Orleans after everyone else has left Sunday night. The Scotsman-American and his gay robot sidekick Geoff is the best thing on television after midnight. I’m not kidding. Watch his show. 

Intermediate Consumers:

Drink when a Rookie Quarterback is mentioned- Colin Kaepernick, Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III, Russell Wilson – the storyline of this year was rookie quarterbacks. 

One Drink for every minute past 6:30 Kickoff occurs: Kickoff is schedule for 6:30 EST/ 3:30 PST. For my brother, who is studying abroad in Italy, they will be celebrating kickoff at 12:30. The NFL doesn’t believe in fashionably late.

Drink every time Phil Simms interrupts Jim Nantz (bonus drink if it’s for a good reason) – Jim Nantz is the luckiest man in sports. He gets to commentate the Super Bowl, the NCAA tournament and then “a tradition unlike any other, the Masters.” He just has to share this night with Phil Sims.

Drink every time Ray Lewis has a tackle- He has been in on 44 tackles through three games of the playoffs. This is his last game ever guys!

Advanced Consumers:

Drink every time there’s a car commercial- There are nine different car companies sponsoring the Super Bowl. Toyota, let’s build something together…

Drink every time a company recycles an ad- The E-Trade Baby, and Danica Patrick, the Clydesdales for Budweiser – the ad companies are nothing if they’re not predictable. Jared is even coming back for Subway.

Drink every time the phrase “Harbaugh” and “Brothers” are mentioned together: Two coaches, brothers, coaching against each other? Drink up! 

Drink every time “47” is mentioned: The roman numerals that follow Super Bowl stand for 47. This is the 47th Super Bowl.

Super Consumers:

Drink every time Ray Lewis is mentioned: Can anyone say Brett Favre? Please don’t come out of retirement Ray. This needs to be it.

Drink every time you see a Harbaugh: Jim and John Harbaugh are coaching the two teams. Their dad, Jack Harbaugh, played and coached. Their sister Joani, is Indiana basketball coach Tom Crean’s wife. Then there’s their Mom, their wives and a kid with a really big head.

First Down.

Please Drink Responsibly.


Read More of Derek Kessinger’s posts here.

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