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NFL Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ Da’Quan Bowers: Gun-toting Pirate

Kim Klement USA TODAY Sports

Okay, this is an unfortunate experience. However, at the expense of the dumb jock, I will capitalize on this situation as a journalist. After all, what interesting news in the off-season of the NFL would there be to write about if there weren’t individuals as Da’Quan Bowers, defensive end for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?

If you haven’t heard by now, yes, Bowers attempted to bypass airport security (La Guardia, Queens, NY) with a gun in his luggage. You’re probably scratching your head right now and using all sorts of expletives. Rightfully so – who will actually bypass a metal detector with a .40-caliber pistol inside a carry-on in 2013?

I’m not Mr. Bowers’ lawyer, and I’d hate to be his lawyer right now. Nevertheless, as a “defense”, one can possibly argue that Bowers wears his helmet too tight. Perhaps he doesn’t own a television or a radio? Too busy partying at Clemson when Plaxico Burress shot himself in a nightclub circa 2008?

Given any case, the defensive end is going to need a heck of a defense in court. As a former resident of the Tri-State area, I assure you that the NY Penal system isn’t lenient when it comes to criminal possession of a weapon.

And no, it doesn’t matter if you’re a celebrity-athlete, either. Mayor Michael Bloomberg is NY’s gun control poster-boy. He made an example out of Burress.

Sorry, Bowers, but this is one tight end you won’t be able to tackle. Who do you think you are, sir? Even Tom Brady isn’t exempt from the Brady Law – criminal indictment for running the shotgun illegally in NYC.