The Oakland Raiders have been one of the most dysfunctional franchises in the NFL for some time, but surely one of the league’s most storied organizations can’t just fall into this type of disarray on it’s own, can it? There has to be something sinister going on…some type of curse.
Goats, Bambino, Madden EA Sports, Sports Illustrated cover…you name it, there is a curse involving a professional sports team explaining away misfortune and disappointment. Since the Raiders never traded away Babe Ruth, haven’t kicked any fans out of the Black Hole for odoriferous goats, and haven’t really had much to do with the covers of any video games or magazines for some time, there must be another explanation.
Let me offer up to all Oakland fans, “The Curse of Lane Kiffin“.
While it’s not a perfect explanation, it’s at least something. After all, Kiffin has left behind nothing but dumpster fires and destruction at every stop he’s made as a coach, and the Raiders are certainly no exception to that.
Ok, so it’s flawed. Kiffin didn’t join the Raiders until 2007, while their last playoff appearance was back in 2002. But with Bill Callahan, Norv Turner and Art Shell all there within that five-year period, there has to be some sort of six degrees of separation tying it all together.
The biggest tie I can find is in geography. Kiffin was coaching at nearby USC from 2001 until he joined the Raiders. Perhaps his close proximity to the team and sharing of a stadium name were the beginning of Oakland’s curse. The Raiders did seem to be on the verge of an upswing in 2009 when Kiffin was singing Rocky Top all night long in the warming arms of the Tennessee Volunteers (who, incidentally, he also seems to have cursed).
The only possible cure for the Raiders at this point is to excommunicate Kiffin permanently from the Raider Nation, and to exile him from the state of California. This, and only this, will begin to remedy the Raiders’ endless struggles.
It’s a harsh truth, and may seem like unfair treatment of such an affable and likeable coach, but extreme times call for extreme measures.
So take my advice, Raider Nation, pressure the powers at USC to finally drop the ax down on Kiffin, if for no other reason than to save quality football in Southern California.
Who knows, maybe he’ll get hired by the San Diego Chargers.