Kaepernicking With the First Lady of the United States

By Lance Cartelli
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

First there was “Tebowing”, then there was “Griffining”, quickly after that “Sanchezing” butt fumbled its way through NFL, now Colin Kaepernick‘s touchdown celebration “Kaepernicking” rules the NFL since his rise as star quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers.

When we think of such celebrations, we think they are a fad, a flavor of the week, a Jersey Shore, if I may. But as Kaepernicking was on its downward spiral through the NFL and making its way alongside Aaron Rodgers‘ “Discount Double Check”, something happened. Something amazing. Something that would breath new life into kissing your bicep like you’re “Macho Man” Randy Savage.


Seeing is believing, my friends and I believe that I see Colin Kaepernick “Kaepernicking” with Michelle Obama, the First Lady of the United States or “FLOTUS”.

“FLOTUS” is such a cool nickname that it would be either my DJ name or my nickname when I’m a fighter in the UFC.

Now, the “FLOTUS” isn’t as experienced as Kaepernick is at “Kaepernicking” so I will appoint her as a novice seeing that this is probably her first time kissing her bicep since her hubby has been campaigning for the White House, but let’s take a look at her technique. Mistake #1: her elbow isn’t pointing toward her target. Classic mistake for a beginner, which is easily fixed with practice in front of the mirror or multiple touchdowns scored. Either way, practice makes perfect, Michelle. She obviously has the look down, right into the camera or the soul of your opponent after crushing them. It’s a killer look, no wonder she’s the “FLOTUS”. Overall Grade: B+. Well done, First Lady.

Obviously, this is an honor for both the “FLOTUS” and Colin, but the act of “Kaepernicking” has spread like wildfire and on the Power Rankings of Kaepernicking, this has to be ranked first.

“Official Kaepernicking Power Rankings”

1. White House Kaepernicking

2. Super Bowl Kaepernicking

3. Kaepernicking with this creepy old lady and her dog.

Quite a list, if I do say so myself.

The list of Great Moments in Kaepernicking will continue to grow as Colin becomes a better and better player. His first full season should be one to watch, and we’ll keep the “Official Kaepernicking Power Rankings” growing.

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