Ron Parker: A Legitimate Member Of The Kansas City Chiefs?

By Troy Alan
Denny Medley – USA Today Sports

Kansas City Chiefs defensive back Ron Parker has been in the NFL for two years and has already played for six teams. He probably feels like the foster child no family wants to adopt. On one play on Sunday against the Dallas Cowboys, however, he made me want to request a paternity test.

A third-and-five backside sack of Tony Romo immediately reminded me of a former Chief who had a history of fathering multiple children.

Parker not only got his first professional regular-season sack on the play, he made NFL history in two other statistical categories. He forced Romo to fumble, and recovered it. He displayed a strong resemblance to Chiefs Hall of Famer Derrick Thomas.

Thomas still holds the NCAA single-season sack record (27) as a member of the University of Alabama defense. He holds the NFL single-game sack record with seven. He had 126.5 sacks in his career with the Chiefs. He forced 41 fumbles and recovered 19, many of which he also caused.

The only differences I saw on the play were the number and position. D.T. was a linebacker, R.P. is a cornerback who was sent on a nickel blitz. That actually made it even more surreal, as the Chiefs used to use Derrick as a down lineman defensive end. The play also came at a critical point in the game. It was in the fourth quarter with Kansas City desperately clinging to a four-point lead, another Thomas trademark.

While famous for his amazing on-field performances, Thomas also infamously impregnated five different women, seven times that we know of. After witnessing that play, I wondered if there wasn’t another.

Parker was born August 17, 1987 on St. Helena Island in South Carolina. Could Thomas have been there celebrating a Crimson Tide Sun Bowl victory that occurred on December 25, 1986? The timing would be about right.

This article is in jest, and in no way meant to insinuate anything. But if No. 38 continues to make plays that remind Chiefs fans of No. 58, he may have found a permanent home as a legitimate member of the Kansas City family.

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