NFL Predictions: 5 Upsets For Week 5
5 NFL Upsets For Week 5
The last two weeks, my NFL upsets have gone 2-3 which is fine if you want to spend your entire life in mediocrity. Meanwhile, your siblings go out in the world and flourish, which makes you incredibly jealous every time you have a Thanksgiving get together. Your parents always want to bring up the other kids because they don't understand that plenty of kids take eight years to get their college degree these days and why live elsewhere when you can make a savvy savings just by staying in your parents house? I digress.
So this week we have some juicy games and I know if I ever said that to an actual NFL player I would be stuffed in a locker and be forced to give up all of my lunch money for the week. There seems to be a lot of primetime matchups with point spreads that pretty much tell you to flip a coin when picking and luckily for you I have a mastery in coin flipping from the University of Phoenix. The secret is to pick tails every time and then sue the people who claim it was heads.
I searched far and wide for these upsets. Actually I shouldn't lie to you, I just used the Internet (I don't leave my home unless there is some natural disaster that absolutely calls for me to leave like us running out of Hot Pockets). Still, I researched each of these teams, carefully watching each game of the NFL season and know what I am talking about. You want a guy who can commit himself to long-term things like college or virginity?
Go ahead and read my upset picks for the week while I go cry in the bathroom for a little while.
#5 Chicago Bears Over New Orleans Saints
The Chicago Bears are only a half-point underdog which makes this upset pick super lame but it's still an upset pick so you can keep your critique to yourself Mom.
#4 Indianapolis Colts Over Seattle Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks have not been the same team on the road this season even with their clean 4-0 record and they are somewhat due for a loss the way they have played on the road. Plus there are no seas in the Midwest.
#3 Baltimore Ravens Over Miami Dolphins
The way Ryan Tannehill looked on Monday Night Football is reason enough to make this pick. I bet he is always fumbling items in the produce section at the grocery store.
#2 Tennessee Titans Over Kansas City Chiefs
Losing Jake Locker really hurts the team but Ryan Fitzpatrick is as solid a backup as you are going to find around the NFL. Let's face it, the groundhog has to see his shadow eventually. Andy Reid should be seeing it soon.
#1 Oakland Raiders Over San Diego Chargers
The game pushed back due to the MLB Playoffs is an extra help to the Oakland Raiders. In rivalry games, it's always smart to take the home team even if it is the Raiders who could put me in at quarterback and get equal results to Matt Flynn.