15 NFL Players Who Deserve Coal in Their Stockings This Christmas

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15 NFL Players on Santa's Naughty List

Richie Incognito bullying
Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

With the 2013 calendar year coming to a close, it’s that time that all the end-of-year lists are created, ranking everything from greatest moments in sports to worst decisions by sports executives. While not all of those lists will garner the attention of all fans, one thing that will is something they all have in common: Christmas.

NFL players may technically be men, but many of them act like children, which means they’re still on Santa’s list when the holiday season rolls around. The only question that remains is: Which one?

Of course, we’re not going to bore you with then players like Tim Tebow who are on the nice list because that’s no fun. Instead, we’ve done our research to find the elite few members of the pro football world who really upset Santa this year. And if your kids are reading this, don’t let them see the next paragraph.

Okay, so Santa isn’t real. But if he was, these 15 NFL players would definitely be on his naughty list, which means they wouldn’t be getting any presents this year. Instead, they’d get coal in their stockings. But judging by the way some of them act, they shouldn’t get the coal either because they’d probably just start a fire with it. See? Santa has a tougher job than you think.

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15. Da'Quan Bowers

da'quan bowers gun
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

NFL players are on airplanes a lot. So one would think they would know the rules of flying. However, Bowers apparently had a mental lapse when he took a gun into an airport in his carry-on bag. What are you thinking, dude?

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14. Jay Ratliff

jay ratliff injury
Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

This guy has got to be the sorriest waste of talent in Cowboys history, and that’s saying something. Ratliff blamed everyone but himself for his problems and ultimately forced Dallas to get rid of him, although it should have happened a lot sooner. Oh, and a car wreck with a DWI certainly doesn’t help his case, either.

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13. Brandon Meriweather

brandon meriweather suspension
Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Regardless of what you think about the NFL’s rules against head shots, Meriweather’s hits were dirty and he deserved that suspension. He also deserves to banned from the league for saying he’ll intentionally try to tear other players’ ACLs.

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12. Clay Matthews

clay matthews hair
Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

Let’s pause for a moment to point out how dreadfully awful that mop is on Matthews’ head that he calls his hair. Seriously, dude should be flagged, fined and suspended just for making us look at it every Sunday. But then he had to pretend he was Superman with a dirty late hit on Colin Kaepernick in Week 1. That hair ain’t a cape, son.

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11. Dashon Goldson

dashon goldson suspension
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

It doesn’t really matter whether or not anyone thinks Goldson’s hits were dirty. The point is he simply wouldn’t follow the rules and Santa doesn’t like disobedient children.

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10. Golden Tate

golden tate taunting
Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports

The Seahawks are a freight train of an NFL team, yet Golden Tate — the same guy who was arrested as a rookie for breaking into a doughnut shop — thought it wise to taunt defenders with 20 yards to go on a touchdown catch. The penalty could have easily cost Seattle the MNF win. Smooth move, FedEx.

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9. Justin Blackmon

justin blackmon suspension
Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

This kid could be the next Calvin Johnson if he’d just get his head on straight. Blackmon was suspended for the first four games of his sophomore season and then tore it up on the field when he returned. But then he got busted again and now his NFL future is in jeopardy. Was it worth it, Justin?

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8. Kenny Britt

kenny britt free agent
Jim Brown-USA TODAY Sports

Sure, Britt has “tons of potential,” but one has to show some effort and dedication in order to reach that potential. Put simply, he doesn’t and that’s why the Titans gave up on him.

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7. Pacman Jones

Pacman Jones suspension
Kevin Hoffman-USA TODAY Sports

There is simply something wrong with Pacman. He has been given far too many chances in the NFL despite his numerous off-the-field instances, which, in most cases, were just stupid. However, he found a way to top himself again by hitting a woman at a Cincinnati nightclub. C’mon, man.

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6. Sam Hurd

Sam Hurd drug
Wikimedia Commons

Although he hasn’t played in an NFL game since 2011, Hurd’s drawn-out drug case finally came to a head this year when he was sentenced to 15 years in prison for trafficking. Again, was it worth it, Sam?

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5. Tyrann Mathieu

Tyrann Mathieu lsu
Jennifer Hilderbrand-USA TODAY Sports

The kid got a chance in the NFL even though he didn’t deserve it, but then just randomly slammed Kendall Hunter down well after the play was over, igniting a fight. Why, Tyrann? Have you learned nothing by now?

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4. Von Miller

von miller suspension
Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

The leader and likable Denver star not only failed a drug test, but immediately took to Twitter to tell everyone that it was a mistake and he had done nothing wrong. Failing one drug test wouldn’t have doomed him, but lying about it put Miller on Santa’s naughty list.

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3. Josh Brent

Josh Brent arrested
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

It’s one thing to wreck your car while drunk and kill your teammate in the process, but it’s another thing to completely and totally show no remorse for those actions. Even then, failing two drug tests with intoxication manslaughter charges pending is absolutely disgusting.

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2. Richie Incognito

Richie Incognito bullying
Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Regardless of which of Incognito’s actions were “acceptable” by his teammates and regardless of what anyone thinks is or isn’t okay with the bullying situation in Miami, the fact is this guy said and did things that are unacceptable in any area of life. Santa doesn’t like the N word…or half a dozen other words that Incognito used toward Jonathan Martin.

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1. Mike Tomlin

mike tomlin on field jacoby jones
Mark Konezny-USA TODAY Sports

Ok, Tomlin isn’t a player, but his little incident on the field against the Ravens on Thanksgiving Day warranted a lot more than a $100,000 fine in my book. At least he admitted to being an idiot afterward, but that won’t keep him off Santa’s naughty list this year.


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