We’ve all known for a long time now that Kellen Winslow isn’t your average bear. He’s a little bit different than most tight ends, but he’s also been good enough to stay employed for nine seasons now. His chances of getting employed for a 10th season, however, may have taken a hit after the release of a police report on Winslow from last fall.
Police in East Hanover, NJ were called to a Target parking lot to investigate a man that was potentially masturbating in his car. That man, was allegedly Kellen Winslow Jr. Here’s a portion of the official report:
“As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating.”
The kicker in all of this is that Winslow was also allegedly in possession of synthetic marijuana.
Winslow reportedly told officers on the scene that he was lost and looking for Boston Market. They likely weren’t buying that story, because there was apparently some Vaseline containers in the console of his Escalade as well. Clearly, Boston Market and Vaseline aren’t thrilled with this type of publicity.
As you would imagine, this story has blown up on social media. Everyone is chiming in with witty remarks and jokes about the troubled tight end. There’s no shortage of material here for a terrible joke. This one is probably my favorite though:
Kellen Winslow gives a whole new meaning to the term “car-jacking”
— Ryan Racketa (@Ryan_Rack18) January 17, 2014