Let’s clear something up right off the bat: The Dallas Cowboys need a new play-caller. Plain and simple. However, they don’t need another play-caller, yet that’s exactly what they’re planning to acquire. By the time you read this, former Detroit Lions offensive coordinator Scott Linehan will likely be hired as Dallas’ passing-game coordinator and offensive play-caller, which is just further evidence of the Cowboys’ dysfunctionality.
Here’s an “are you smarter than a moronic billionaire sports owner?” question: What happens to a pot of chili when you add too many brands of hot sauce to it? It sucks! Yet that’s exactly what the Cowboys have done and are still doing to their offense.
For whatever reason, Jerry Jones is picking Jason Garrett’s entire coaching staff instead of letting the head coach do it, which is the common and, I don’t know, intelligent thing to do. That’s why Garrett was the play-caller and then Jones stripped him of those responsibilities right after saying he wouldn’t and gave them to Bill Callahan while Garrett denied that publicly until the first preseason game. Now Jones is taking those duties away from Callahan and the latter has already publicly stated that “upsets him.”
Good grief! Is this a professional football team or an episode of (insert name of stupid junior high drama TV show because I don’t watch that garbage, so I don’t know the name of one)? Dallas is taking the term “too many cooks in the kitchen” to a new level. What the heck do they think is going to happen when they bring yet another offensive philosophy to the pot and try to mix it with the others that have failed miserably?
Oh, and let’s not forget one cute little detail: The Cowboys have been fatally pass-happy during the Garrett era and guess what kind of offense the Lions ran under Linehan. If you guessed “one that’s as trigger-happy as Barney Fife” then you win a cookie. Well, it’ll cost you around $6 at Cowboys Stadium (AT&T Stadium for you annoying, politically correct folks), but there you go.
And guess which team attempted the most passes during Linehan’s five-year tenure as the Lions’ OC. Yes, it was Detroit! Wow! We’ll start calling you “Butter” because you’re on a roll! (Copyright: my father-in-law).
That’s right: The Cowboys went out and brought in yet another pass-happy coach to add to the already unstable mixture of offensive minds in Dallas. Sounds like a good plan, huh? It’s definitely one that a team serious about winning a Super Bowl would make.
So there you have it, folks: Jerry strikes again. It’ll be fun to watch Garrett, Callahan and Linehan bicker like sixth-grade girls this year, but it won’t be enjoyable to see the Cowboys go 8-8 (or worse) again. What else is new?