Remember Jared Lorenzen? You know, Eli Manning‘s backup when the New York Giants won Super Bowl XLII? Yeah, the “Hefty Lefty” is still playing football — as a quarterback. Sure, he was big back in his NFL days, but he’s probably slimmed down now, right?
— Bart Hubbuch (@HubbuchNYP) February 4, 2014
Yeah, that should answer your question. Lorenzen is now a quarterback for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters of the CIFL. No, the River Monsters are not named after him.
This guy is huge, 320 pounds to be exact, and he looks like an offensive lineman. He blends right in when he’s under center, but the guy can still sling it. The Hefty Lefty has a new nickname these days — “The Pillsbury Throwboy”. While these nicknames might seem a bit cruel, he is embracing it and he’s gained weight in order to fill out the nickname — the whole dang thing.
Try finding a jersey that will fit a 320-pound quarterback. Heck, just give him the extra offensive lineman jersey. Oh wait, that’s too small, too? Well, maybe he should look for a new hobby.
That would be the next option for Lorenzen if he wasn’t a scrambling and slinging machine. Just check out this Vine of him spinning out of opponents’ grasps.
Yup, he’s still got it, he just loses his breath a lot easier nowadays. Sure, he looks like he’s in terrible shape, but he has something none of us will ever have — a Super Bowl ring.
Connor Muldowney is a columnist for RantSports.com. Follow him on Twitter @Connormuldowney, “Like” him on Facebook or add him to your network on Google. You can also reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.