Dallas Cowboys: Top 10 Funny, Crazy and Absurd Jerry Jones Quotes

By Jeremy Martin

10 Funny, Crazy and Absurd Jerry Jones Quotes

Jerry Jones — Dallas Cowboys owner and GM Jerry Jones is known for making outrageous and confusing comments from time to time. This past week Jerry compared his Cowboys team to a popular TV show. As crazy as Jerry’s comments sounded to most people, it doesn’t come close to being the craziest thing Jerry Jones has ever said. With that in mind let’s take a look at the top 10 quotes from the eccentric owner and GM.

10. Comparing the NFL to the Oregon Trail

Jerry Jones

10. Comparing the NFL to the Oregon Trail

Jerry Jones — “Barry Switzer, our coach, used to tell the team, I’m your wagon master, we’re back in the covered wagon days, we’re going to California. We’ve got to cross the Mississippi River to get there. A lot of you are gonna die. We’re gonna have new faces as we go along the way, we’re gonna burn some of these wagons for firewood, float the Mississippi with others. This train is gonna get to California. I’m gonna try to be on it; I hope you’re on it.“

9. Jerry Jones Claims He Has the Mind of a 40-Year-Old

Jerry Jones

9. Jerry Jones Claims He Has the Mind of a 40-Year-Old

Jerry Jones — “I’ve been told by CAT Scans that it’s like the brain of a 40-year-old. The guy really did not know it was me. I was there anonymously. And so I just wanted to come down. I saw your chart. I know how old you are. That part is really impressive”

This whole scenario is as confusing as Jerry’s words. The whole thing makes no sense, but that’s usually the case when it comes to Jerry.

8. Jerry Likes Felix Jones’ Bubble Butt

Jerry Jones

8. Jerry Likes Felix Jones’ Bubble Butt

Jerry Jones — “He’s got one of those nice bubble butts.”

Jerry was asked about whether or not Felix Jones could be an every down back or just a scat back. Jerry answered the way any normal person would by pointing out the fact that Felix Jones has a bubble butt which everyone knows is an important asset for an every down NFL running back.

7. Did You Enjoy Those 3 Super Bowls?

Jerry Jones

7. Did You Enjoy Those 3 Super Bowls?

Jerry Jones — “Did you enjoy those three Super Bowls? I hope you did. I hope you did very much.”

This was Jerry’s response to a fan that called into his radio show back in 2001 and asked Jerry why he refused to hire a GM to make football decisions.

6. Jerry Comments On How Troy Aikman Looked in the Shower

Jerry Jones and Troy Aikman

6. Jerry Comments On How Troy Aikman Looked in the Shower

Jerry Jones and Troy Aikman — “All I can say right now is that he looks good in the shower.”

This is what Jerry said to a reporter that asked how Troy was progressing from an injury. While Jerry was likely having some fun with the reporter, it is still a bit disturbing.

5. Jerry Claims He Has Been Doing His Best Work As GM

Jerry Jones

5. Jerry Claims He Has Been Doing His Best Work As GM

Jerry Jones — “The facts are that I really do think the way things have rolled out that I’m getting to do some of my best work that I’ve done, relatively speaking in my career of these last several years.”

This is an absurd comment that Jerry made last season while his team was in the middle of their third straight 8-8 season.

4. Jerry On Why He Doesn't Hire a GM

Jerry Jones

4. Jerry On Why He Doesn't Hire a GM

Jerry Jones — “It’s often said that, why don’t I get someone to be the GM? Well, who in the world do you think that person when they walk through the door and say, ‘We want to get this player, what in the world do you think I’m going to do? I’m going to say, Show me everything about the player before I write the check. Well, rather than that, I get involved in it and know everything about about the players before they get to the door. That’s a better way."

3. Circumcising Mosquitoes

Jerry Jones

3. Circumcising Mosquitoes

Jerry Jones — “We’re down to circumcising mosquitoes.”

This was Jerry’s response to how close the NFL owners and players were to ending the lockout in 2011. Only Jerry would make that comparison.

2. 500 Coaches

Jerry Jones

2. 500 Coaches

Jerry Jones — “500 coaches could have won Super Bowls with those teams.”

This was Jerry’s infamous quote after firing Jimmy Johnson and hiring Barry Switzer. Jerry was allegedly drunk when he told reporters this and later denied it.

1. Glory Hole

Jerry Jones

1. Glory Hole

Jerry Jones — “I’ve been around here when it was glory hole days and I’ve been here when it wasn’t. Having said that, I want me some glory hole.”

Jerry’s intention was to use a term from his oil and gas business days to get his point across. The problem is most people think of something totally different when they hear the term glory hole. Needless to say fans, media and late night TV host had a field day with this one.

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