Once upon a time, there were men and women who strapped fake snouts over their nostrils. They also had an appetite for petite garden dresses, straw hats and wigs. Playfully known as “the Hogettes,” these diehard supporters carried on the Washington Redskins’ name with pride and integrity.
Many years ago (not really), the Redskins had a ridiculously stacked offensive line, comprising the nucleus of three Super Bowl winning teams. Their excellence was matched by their portliness, and they became known as “the Hogs.” Evidently some people wished they too could be hogs, albeit with an adventurous twist. Let’s just say you wouldn’t dare disparage or denigrate the Redskins name around these hardcores.
As it happens, there’s been a clamoring of late to change the team nickname. People believe that “Redskins” is racist, or something. Native Americans don’t actually have red skin, so they couldn’t possibly be offended by it. Plus, it’s a great way to strike fear in opposing teams. “Great Scott! The Redskins are coming!” That’s very intimidating and way cooler than, “Holy cow, the Native Americans are coming!”
On second thought, maybe our nation’s capital is deserving of a more suitable name for its football squad. Who knows what that is, but my vote is cast for “Pigskins.” The Hogettes should be satisfied with this tribute to their corpulent heroes, and there’s still a reference to skin. Problem solved.
Another great name would be “Whiteskins.” I worked in the House of Representatives for a short while, and I know everyone there would wholeheartedly endorse the change. Nothing will rattle the opposition’s core quite like this one.
Whether Dan Snyder accepts my suggestions or not, something’s got to give. I’ll rest easy as long as Washington’s finest are satisfied with the outcome.