The Washington Redskins have signed Jerry Rice to their already scary-looking receiving corps.
Get out! No they didn’t. Are you for real? May I lose my recently established employment status as a unique sports writer — which remains resolutely entrenched in its infancy stage — if this surfacing information proves to be falsified, fabricated, forged or otherwise misrepresented.
You could have heard a pin drop in this sector — had one decided to defy the gravitational pull of the earth’s magnetic field. Such never occurred. Uhm. Hmm. I’m not entirely certain I’m willing to chance that at this particular juncture. Even so, the report is credible. Scouts honor. Balk. Actually, for everyone’s information, I was never in the scouts. But if all goes well, I trust I haven’t completely lost you.
Let me turn this car around. As if Washington didn’t already have enough ammunition jammed into the magazine of its passing artillery, it would seem GM Bruce Allen has incredulously pulled another personnel Houdini in his cast of offseason mystifying acts.
Pardon me if I don’t engage in the Gangnam Style Dance, launch a lot of confetti toward the ozone layer and make it rain Benjamins off the Capitol Building from a very large cash dispenser. I just don’t have much incentive to celebrate prematurely. Why? There remains one microscopic technicality I haven’t mentioned, yet. The club has signed unproven and un-battle tested Jerry Rice Jr. The offspring of legendary NFL wideout, Rice Sr.
Rice Jr. is a byproduct of his dad’s consecrated gridiron shadow who spent two disappointing seasons with UCLA without puncturing the end zone before he transferred to the secondary University of Nevada where his productivity on the field continued to dip. Forget about failing to log a touchdown at UCLA. The wannabe prospect hopeful definitely raised the collective eyebrows of coaches and professional scouts in his laborious efforts to split rival secondaries and get open, much less document a reception while at UNLV. Rice Jr. logged just one touchdown off 11 receptions for 86 yards during his final season of eligibility before the NFL Draft and failed to record a reception in six of his final seven games. He saw limited action at the collegiate level of play and never placed better than third team on the Rebels’ depth chart.
Will he make the final cut for Washington’s 53-man roster? You tell me. In all fairness, he’ll be doing well to anchor a place on the club’s practice squad.