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NFL New England Patriots

A Letter from Bill Belichick to Jadeveon Clowney to Introduce Himself

Bill Belichick

Stew Milne-USA TODAY Sports

Dear Jadeveon Clowney,

Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England Patriots here. I know the Houston Texans selected you with the number one overall pick in the 2014 NFL Draft. At the University of South Carolina you were extremely impressive in 2012. You took a step back in 2013, but you have the physical tools to be successful in the NFL, as long as you put in the work.

I know who you are, and I have one question for you.

How did you not know who I was?

I heard you played a game with Adam Lefkoe of Bleacher Report where you each held up index cards to your foreheads which had names of sports and pop culture figures on them. Each of you gave the other clues as to who the person on the card was.

You didn’t know who I was so you couldn’t give any clues. Are you kidding me? I’ve been a polarizing figure in the NFL for a number of years. Every football fan either loves me or hates me, but they all know who I am. Maybe it’s my fault for focusing on winning and not ending up in tabloids or on SportsCenter all the time, except for that whole SpyGate thing. That was blown way out of proportion by the way; are you the last to hear about it, after all this time? 

Let me hit you with a few of my statistics. I took over as head coach of the Patriots in 2000 and since then the Patriots have endured only one losing season (2000). We have won three Super Bowls (it’s difficult to type with three Super Bowl rings on) and we were two circus plays away from winning two others. Were you the only person not watching those Super Bowls?

You had no issues with names like Drake, Tiger Woods and LeBron James, but you didn’t know who I was and you couldn’t come up with the name of the NFL Commissioner? It’s Roger Goodell by the way. It might be time to get focused on football.

Houston isn’t on New England’s schedule in 2014, so the only way we could possibly meet is if Houston has a dramatic turnaround from their 2-14 season in 2013 and makes the playoffs.  The Patriots will be in the playoffs. I’ll send you a postcard.

Signed,

The Hoodie

Justin Patrick is a New England Patriots writer for RantSports.com. Follow him on Twitter @calling_allfans, like him on Facebook and add him to  your network on Google