Dear Jordan Palmer,
Your two touchdown drives against the mighty Jacksonville Jaguars’ roster surplus has launched you back into the lead for the second-string quarterback position. Nevermind that against better competition against the Philadelphia Eagles you looked like a dog running from a vacuum cleaner. You have made it irrelevant that you’ve spent six years going from practice squad to practice squad, except for that brief 2011 stint in the United Football League where you failed to make the roster of the Sacramento Mountain Lions.
Chicago Bears head coach Marc Trestman has found a soft spot for you. He loves reclamation projects, and you are his latest. He sees something in you that frankly doesn’t seem to be there. David Fales seems to be out of the picture, so you now have a lock on no worse than the third-string quarterback position — although Fales being seven years younger is reason enough to keep him on the roster over a 30-year-old journeyman quarterback like yourself.
However, you showed your resilience last week. Down 19-7 in the fourth quarter, the Jaguars put in the bottom of the roster, and as those defensive players were battling for those coveted practice squad spots, you led two touchdown drives, both aided by multiple defensive penalties by players who have their playbooks in-hand ready to hand over to Gus Bradley.
Apparently Trestman plans to ignore that Jimmy Clausen looked just as sharp against better competition, but his drives were hindered by Bears penalties rather than aided by ones from Jacksonville. Trestman is focused on your six completions in the fourth quarter, only one of which was downfield, where Matthew Mulligan beat Jaguars safety Chris Prosinski. Unfortunately, no one in Jacksonville is projecting Prosinski to even make the roster.
Trestman says that this decision is no indication on the ongoing battle for the second-string quarterback position. For those who believe that, Trestman is also willing to give them a deal on ocean-front property in Rockford, Ill., so just reach out to him if interested.
Jordan, you’ll replace Jay Cutler against the Seattle Seahawks. For your sake, you better hope Pete Carroll plans on having his first and second teams out of the game by then. Otherwise, caddying for your brother Carson in Lake Tahoe will look pretty wonderful.
Trestman may give you the nod at the second-string position because of that aforementioned soft spot. It’s just pretty hard to stomach that if Cutler goes down and misses a few games, we can all look back to the fourth quarter of an NFL preseason game as the reason the Bears go winless in that stretch and knock themselves out of playoff contention.
So good luck as you continue to defy logic and hold off Clausen for reasons that no one can quite comprehend. We are just two weeks away from the Bears opening the regular season against the Buffalo Bills, and this latest development that you inspired has our mouths agape with wonder. There is nothing else to write except to tip my cap and say, congratulations, Jordan Palmer.