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15 Things You Would Do If Rob Gronkowski Were Your Best Friend

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By @nickmarsico

15 Things You Would Do If Rob Gronkowski Were Your Best Friend

Super Bowl XLIX - New England Patriots v Seattle Seahawks
Rob Carr/Getty Images

New England Patriots star tight end Rob Gronkowski just won his first Super Bowl and helped his team win their first in the last 10 years. The season is over, Gronk is your best friend and you have some time on your hands before training camp begins. What do you do?

15. Constantly Confuse Him For Sebastian Janikowski

Sebastian Janikowski
Ed Szczepanski - USA TODAY Sports

15. Constantly Confuse Him For Sebastian Janikowski

Sebastian Janikowski
Ed Szczepanski - USA TODAY Sports

Their names aren't similar enough to really confuse them, but they both end with "Kowski." I would tell my family that I'm friends with that kicker from the Raiders and tell people he prefers to be called "Jank." I wonder how long it would take to upset him if I kept telling him that he looked pretty big to be a placekicker.

14. Take Over His Twitter Account And Act Like Tim Tebow

rob gronkowski twitter
Twitter @robgronkowski

14. Take Over His Twitter Account And Act Like Tim Tebow

rob gronkowski twitter
Twitter @robgronkowski

Gronk is a pretty fun-loving guy. He posts silly things on Twitter like selfies of trying to nap at the airport and making weird faces while preparing for a game. He also posts a lot about his work for the community. I'd infuse that community work with constant calls for prayer, and tweeting to guys like Ryan Leaf, asking how to cope with being harshly pushed out of the spotlight.

13. Have As Many Free Donuts And Coffee As Humanly Possible

gronkowski dunkin donuts
Twitter @robgronkowski

13. Have As Many Free Donuts And Coffee As Humanly Possible

gronkowski dunkin donuts
Twitter @robgronkowski

Gronkowski signed a deal to promote Dunkin' Donuts back in 2012, and while the two-year contract is up, he still reps some of the best coffee in America. If this dude were my best friend, there is no way I would pass up the chance to gorge on donuts, bagels and breakfast sandwiches while staying awake for days at a time thanks to endless free coffee.

12. Buy Him A Walker

Rob Gronkowski
Getty Images

12. Buy Him A Walker

Rob Gronkowski
Getty Images

Guys are mean to each other, especially best friends. Gronkowski's career has seen him under the knife a number of times, which has cut two of his five pro seasons short. He has had multiple forearm surgeries, back surgery and most recently ACL/MCL surgery, which he came back from this past season. His performance earned him Comeback Player of the Year.

11. Change His Truck's Horn To GRONK

Rob Gronkowski
Stew Milne-USA TODAY Sports

11. Change His Truck's Horn To GRONK

Rob Gronkowski
Stew Milne-USA TODAY Sports

It would be incredibly obnoxious and, hopefully, it would scare the crap out of him the first time somebody cut him off. He's a 25-year-old kid with a good sense of humor, so he would probably keep it around for a while, too.

10. Make Him A Sexy Calendar of Himself

Rob Gronkowski
Twitter @robgronkowski

10. Make Him A Sexy Calendar of Himself

Rob Gronkowski
Twitter @robgronkowski

Faux leopard-skin hats, hanging out shirtless by the pool, drinking protein shakes and sleeping with his mouth wide open in airports -- you know there have to be other pictures of him wearing zebra-striped Speedos, likely in his newly purchased party bus.

9. Free Rides on the Party Bus

gronk party bus
Twitter @robgronkowski

9. Free Rides on the Party Bus

gronk party bus
Twitter @robgronkowski

Gronkowski purchased a party bus to travel around the country with the branding of his BodyArmor Super Drink all over it. According to Twitter, everybody is invited to take a ride. I bet it comes with tons of free samples. There's probably no donuts on it though. Conflicting sponsorships always suck the fun out of things.

8. Hang Out With The Entourage Boys

gronk entourage
Twitter @robgronkowski

8. Hang Out With The Entourage Boys

gronk entourage
Twitter @robgronkowski

Fans of the HBO show Entourage are excited because we're finally getting a movie to reunite the cast. Gronkowski is a fan too, and being a superstar for the New England Patriots gets you some perks, like hanging out with the cast and being on set. Plus, that might give me a shot to meet Marky Mark.

7. Get The Inside Scoop On Tom Brady's Ball Deflation

gronkowski gronking
Twitter @robgronkowski

7. Get The Inside Scoop On Tom Brady's Ball Deflation

gronkowski gronking
Twitter @robgronkowski

This sounds a lot dirtier than intended. Gronk is a powerful man and can destroy the pigskin with a single spike. He's got plenty of opportunities to deflate footballs, what with his record-breaking single-season touchdown stat for tight ends.

6. Free Merch

Pittsburgh Steelers v New England Patriots
Jim Rogash/Getty Images

6. Free Merch

Pittsburgh Steelers v New England Patriots
Jim Rogash/Getty Images

He's a record-holding all-pro tight end with a Super Bowl ring. Not only can you get all the donuts you can eat, but you can eat them in a new Patriots jersey every day. I wonder if he would be able to snag some of those sweet Bill Belichick sweatsuits for me. That coach knows style.

5. Have A Ringer For Backyard Football Games

Miami Dolphins v New England Patriots
Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

5. Have A Ringer For Backyard Football Games

Miami Dolphins v New England Patriots
Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

I would have him over to the house every year for Thanksgiving and choose him as my first pick. Heck, I'd take him as my only pick and watch him just reach his hand into the air to catch passes over the heads of my brothers. No way I'd ever lose another Thanksgiving classic.

4. Get Sweet Painting Lessons

gronk painting
Twitter @robgronkowski

4. Get Sweet Painting Lessons

gronk painting
Twitter @robgronkowski

Okay, so Gronk isn't as talented with the brush as he is on the gridiron, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a good imagination. Fine, it's not about the quality, but if he doesn't paint too many and he keeps up with his stellar career, those paintings can be worth some decent scratch in years to come.

3. Hang Out With Kobe

gronk kobe
Twitter @robgronkowski

3. Hang Out With Kobe

gronk kobe
Twitter @robgronkowski

You know you want an in to become friends with Kobe Bryant. Dude's a legend and whether you love him or hate him, being his friend has to be pretty awesome. Driving around in fancy cars and getting free ringside seats to Lakers games doesn't hurt either. Man, you might even end up sitting next to Jack Nicholson, which opens up a whole new set of possibilities. I may be a bit of a dreamer.

2. Chill Poolside With The Ladies

gronk pool
Twitter @robgronkowski

2. Chill Poolside With The Ladies

gronk pool
Twitter @robgronkowski

The ladies may not be pictured here, but that's just because it was an early morning relaxing session. There's plenty of room around that pool for a lot of young ladies. Gronk is 25 and a star football player for the Super Bowl Champions. You know that pool is not always empty like that.

1. Free Tickets

Super Bowl XLIX Tickets
Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

1. Free Tickets

Super Bowl XLIX Tickets
Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

Football tickets aren't cheap, my friends. Being best pals with Mr. Gronkowski guarantees great seats for no money for you and yours whenever you want them. Want to butter up your boss for a raise? Now's your chance. Free tickets on the 50-yard line. Want a Christmas present better than another tie for your dad? How about season tickets for home and away games? Complementary travel accommodations by the Party Bus.

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