Worst Player Nicknames In NFL History

By Jacob Kornhauser

Nicknames, especially for athletes, can enhance your legacy. However, a bad nickname can stick with you for a very long time. That’s the case with these 20 former or current NFL players, whose nicknames are either unimaginative, boring, or simply don’t make sense.

Worst Player Nicknames In NFL History

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Terrell Suggs - BallSoHard — The fact this nickname is all one word makes it even worse than it already would be. Suggs does "ball hard", but there are so many cool possibilities for nicknames of big-time NFL defenders. This one stuck with Suggs and he will never get a great nickname, it appears.

Jake 'Daylight come and you gotta' Delhomme — Of course Chris Berman thought of this nickname. He has thought of some ridiculous ones in his day, and while some are funny, others just fall flat. The main problem with this one is that it's too long. By the time you're done saying the nickname, the play is already over.

Art Donovan - Fatso — Not only does this nickname lack creativity, it's just plain mean. Donovan probably took it all in good fun, but there are so many potential monikers for large athletes. Donovan got unlucky that his nickname was completely unimaginative.

Jeff Tuel - Tuel Time — You really know you've made it when your nickname is a play on a 1990s TV show. Then again, Tuel's career hasn't been that notable thus far. He has time to establish himself, but if this nickname sticks, he will never be intimidating to the competition.

Billy Johnson - White Shoes — Naming people after the things they wear is really lame. It doesn't matter that he wore white shoes when most were wearing black. There absolutely could've been a better nickname for Johnson, who had to be notable for more than just his choice of footwear.

Frank Gore - Inconvenient Truth — Rich Eisen thought of this one after the book by Al Gore, but it doesn't really make sense. Whenever a nickname is so complicated that few can get it, it's not a good choice. Ideally, someone should have to think about a nickname for a second, realize what the joke or play on words is, and then note how clever it was.

Joe Webb - Spiderman — Obviously this is a play on his last name, but it doesn't really apply to him. Certainly, he's a versatile player, as he can play quarterback or wide receiver, but there are other nicknames that would make more sense.

Peyton Manning - The Sheriff — Manning has this nickname because he orders and changes things around at the line of scrimmage, but he's not intimidating enough to have a moniker that's this intense. Something like the Mad Scientist would fit him better, because his football IQ is off the charts.

Mike Vanderjagt - That Idiot — Vanderjagt was a great kicker, but apparently Peyton Manning thought he was an idiot. He said so in a frustrated interview multiple times. This nickname stuck, at least among people making fun of the incident, and it's actually pretty funny. That doesn't make it a good one, though.

Jim Kelly - Machine Gun Kelly — The biggest problem with this nickname is that someone already has it. Relating the warm-hearted quarterback to a noted mobster doesn't make a ton of sense either. In theory, the nickname fits, but because of the other two factors laid out, he should've gotten a different one.

Chris Chandler - Crystal Chandelier — Poor, Chris Chandler. He earned this nickname because he was so fragile during his playing days. This is actually a really creative moniker, but it's so tragic, you can't help but feel bad for the guy. It is true, though, as he was about as durable as a crystal chandelier.

Greg Zuerlein - Young GZ — Please don't give kickers nicknames that are plays on rapper's names. There's really just no place for it. Unless he's the coolest kicker of all time, he doesn't deserve it. Sure, Zuerlein is pretty cool, but let's get him a better nickname than this garbage.

Darren Sharper - Pick Magnet — This name is relatively creative, but it could use some work. Given the fact he's now in jail for multiple sexual assaults, the nickname actually seems pretty insensitive now. Obviously, that wasn't the intention of it at the time, but that's what it has become.

Michael Irvin - Playmaker — Michael Irvin certainly was a playmaker, so this nickname isn't inaccurate. However, he could've had such a cooler moniker. He's one of the better receivers in the history of the league and players from that position tend to get the coolest nicknames. Unfortunately for Irvin, that wasn't the case.

Amani 'It's not a' Toomer — Here's another Chris Berman gem. If "it's not a tumor" was a popular phrase, it would work better, but Berman completely forced this joke. Toomer was a playmaker in his heyday and could've gotten a cooler nickname if Boomer hadn't ruined it for him.

Tom Brady - Touchdown Tom — Given to him after his 50-touchdown season in 2007, this is one of the laziest nicknames in the sport. It's like someone went, "well, his name is Tom and he throws a lot of touchdowns. I have a perfect nickname for him!" By the time it's all said and done, Brady might be the best to have ever played the game. Good thing he has a much cooler nickname of Tommy Terrific as well.

Casey Hampton - Big Snack — It's not hard to see why Hampton earned this nickname, but it's pretty boring. Apparently his teammates gave it to him, because he was always eating snacks, but you have to wish the Steelers were more creative with their huge defensive tackle.

Rod Smart - He Hate Me — Smart gave himself this nickname (which never results in a cool nickname) when he was with the XFL. He put it on his jersey and it stuck with him once he went to the NFL. This name is downright lame for a plethora of reasons.

LeSean McCoy - Shady — His mom gave him this nickname because he was moody as a child, but it's just bizarre. "Shady McCoy" has a bit of a ring to it, but it just sounds like you're calling him a shady person. Whether you agree with that or not, it doesn't make for a very good nickname.

Johnny Manziel - Johnny Football — If he was actually a successful NFL quarterback, this would be a pretty cool nickname. However, since he continually gets in trouble and acts like a child, it seems pretty stupid. The fact that he embraces the nickname and tries to make it part of his persona makes it that much worse.

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