Fans Pain Felt by Iphone’s Siri During Lockout

By Derek Kessinger


In frustration over the current NHL negotiations last night, I asked Siri when the next Colorado Avalanche game was.

“Unfortunately Derrick, it looks like the Avalanche-Lightning game was canceled.”

Now ignoring the fact that Siri spelled my name, Derek, wrong, that statement by Siri is the most sympathetic response I’ve received from a non-NHL fan. So I moved on to the Winter Classic.

“Unfortunately Derrick, it looks like the Red WingsMaple Leafs game was canceled.”

NHL All-Star game?

“It doesn’t look like there’s anything scheduled in the NHL.”

So I asked why not and Siri responded she couldn’t say, but did say it was possible that she hates Gary Bettman.

This is actually some pretty good analysis by a phone that has no real emotions. As the NHL Lockout’s final comedic relief dissipated over the arguments of the last two days, hockey fans have little else to hold onto. Even hockey fans’ phones can’t find all the answers anymore on how greed and stupidity ruined the game.

The NHL owners and players have lost all of my respect with their current childish behavior. The NHL trying to bar Donald Fehr from its meetings and suddenly pulling all its offers off the table was the ploy of second graders. The players bringing new issues into the argument is the tactic of a teenage couple in their first relationship. There is just no logic behind either side’s moves at the moment.

So Siri, will there be an NHL season?

“I’m sorry Derrick, I don’t have the answer to that one.”


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