One Word To Describe Episode 1000 of Raw …Grand!
The long wait and extended journey to Raw 1000 finally has arrived at the station. As we are told on a weekly basis, Monday Night Raw is the longest running episodic television program in history, and since this show has reached episode 1000, then this will be a title that may never be relinquished from the World Wrestling Entertainment.
From Raw’s first ever match of KoKo Beware vs Yokozuna, to Bret “The Hitman” Hart being powerbombed by Big Daddy Cool Diesel on The Kings Court. To Stone Cold Steve Austin showing the world the Smoking Skull Championship belt. To The Rock getting doused by Austin by a Beer Truck. To Chris Jericho debuting on Raw. To Mankind Winning the WWF Championship from The Rock. From Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels reconciling on air. To John Cena being drafted to Raw, we have seen some of the greatest moments of professional wrestling live in front of our eyes. Let tonight be the blast off of a new era of World Wrestling Entertainment. Let the games begin!
Raw starts out with Mr. Vince McMahon coming out, thanking the audience and giving us the ever so famous words “Welcome to Monday Night Raw”. In addition, Vince introduces DeGeneration X. Shawn Michaels and Triple H come out with the very vintage fan fare. DX makes mention of there used to be “more” of them? Could we see more members? Indeed so, we get The Road Dogg Jesse James, The Badass Billy Gunn and X-Pac. All 5 of the legendary DX members are in the ring together. Road Dogg does his introductory schtick on the mike, and Triple H follows with his “Are You Ready”? Shawn and Billy Gunn go back and forth on who does the “next part” since they both did it in their respective times with the group. During the joking around, Damien Sandow (of Smackdown) comes out to interrupt the group. Criticizing the WWE and the audience accepting this kind of entertainment. DX discusses on what they are going to do to Damien, survey says, each member of DX gives him their finisher. HBK with the sweet chin music and Triple H’s pedigree. And they dump him out the ring with DX being praised by the live audience.
Good Ole JR (Jim Ross) comes out next to join the broadcast booth. Sporting a new gotee.
Match #1
Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara and Shemus vs Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler Alberto Del Rio
Action started out with Sin Cara and Chris Jericho in the ring. Seeing some first here, never seen Jericho lock up with Cara and never seen Cara team up with Rey Mysterio. There’s a lot of animosity in this match as Del Rio has extensive history with all three of the faces. In addition Jericho and Ziggler have a little bad blood. Which showed as Ziggler took a shot at Jericho which was an assist to Sheamus to execute the Brough Kick to Jericho, and pick up the victory.
Winner: Sheamus, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara.
Some Tout plug from the WWE Universe.
Charlie Sheen was on the air with them Via Skype. Not sure if he is still the “Social Media Ambassador” since he denounced twitter a few weeks back. But he was on Skype, so that may count.
The Daniel Bryan/AJ highlights happened, followed up by AJ talking with Leyla about her getting ready for her big day. They open the door as see Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Rowdy Roddy Piper playing jump rope with R Truth and Mae Young and “The hand” all grown up.
Live plug by Sonic
Match #2
Jack Swagger vs Broadus Clay
Yes, it is the former World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger in another squash match. I really hope this ends for Swagger soon, because he is much better than this. Clay introduces “Dude Love” to be in his corner. Swagger immediately goes after Clay, but Clay counters with a tackle and a splash. Getting the win. Everyone dances in the ring and Dude gives Swagger the Mr. Socko.
Winner: Broadus Clay
Segment backstage with Triple H and Trish Stratus. Sort of a DejaVu from when Triple H was caught being “behind” Trish in the locker room and was walked in on by Stephanie. But this time it was Trish being behind Triple H and DX walked in on them. Awkward.
We see Daniel Bryan speaking with his “Groomsmen” for the wedding.
The Wedding of Daniel Bryan and AJ is upon us. The Wedding begins with the reverend for the ceremony. The Doctor of Style: SLICK!!! Daniel Bryan comes out and then the bride to be, AJ comes out and walks the aisle. The wedding begins, and AJ asked Slick to hurry up his message. Daniel goes into his vows. Bryan professes his love for AJ and the new chapter in their lives. Both of them say “YES”. As Slick is closing up, AJ interrupts him and says that she wasn’t saying “Yes” to Daniel, but to someone else. Another man, who proposed to earlier tonight…Vince McMahon. A BUSINESS proposal. Vince comes out and introduces the new GM of Monday Night Raw…AJ. AJ is now the new GM of Raw and leaves Bryan at the alter.
When they get back from commercial, Bryan is still in the ring upset over what happened. CM Punk comes out and confronts Daniel Bryan. Punk rubs it into Bryan’s face that he was stood up at the alter. Bryan Responds by saying he is the “greatest of all time”. Until we hear “IF YOU SMELLLLLL…” Thats right, The Rock has entered the arena, and confronts Daniel Bryan. The Rock makes short work of Bryan, but puts his focus on CM Punk. That he wants a shot at the WWE Championship, at the Royal Rumble? Odd that were talking about the Royal Rumble in July. The Rock gives Bryan a devastating Rock Bottom. And its official, The Rock will meet the WWE Champion at The Royal Rumble in Phoenix, Arizona.
Justin Roberts introduces Bret “The Hitman” Hart to be the guest ring announcer. Bret speaks how its is an honor to be on the show and introduces the two participants for the intercontinental championship match. With Bret saying that one line, brought some honor to the match.
Match #3
For the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Christian (champion) vs The Miz (challenger)
The match starts off with some solid action from the two. Christian comes off the top rope to land on Miz, but may have hurt his knee. Back to live action, the match picks back up and Miz begins to gain the advantage and he is working the leg the match. Miz capitalizes on Christian and gives him the skull crushing finale, and picks up the win and the title.
Winner: The Miz = New Intercontinental Champion
More Sheen, more plugging his show. But it was quite amusing seeing the USA network cut off Michael Cole in the middle of his sentence.
Segment featuring Regis Philbin and his admiration of WWE.
Triple H comes out to the ring. We already know what this is for. The Return of Brock Lesnar is upon us. Triple H calls out Lesnar and Paul Heyman comes out. Paul confirms that Brock is in the building tonight. Triple H and Heyman have some back and forth exchange ad Triple H is quite impatient waiting for his answer pertaining to Lesnar. Stephanie McMahon comes out and goes face to face with Paul Heyman and talks about the real reasons behind the lawsuits. His failures of WCW, ECW and WWE. Stephanie takes some low blows at Paul and them smacks him across the face. This is shades of the fall of 2002. Paul’s buttons are pushed, as you can see, as Paul accepts Triple H’s challenge of Brock Lesnar vs Triple H at at Summer Slam. Moments later, Brock Lesnar enters the ring and him and Triple H go at it. Brock looks like a legitimate monster next to Triple H. Triple H knocks him out of the ring and Brock walks away with Heyman. Their match at Summer Slam will be BRUTAL.
Fantasy simulation on WWE 13: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs John Cena
A recap of The Austin/McMahon Feud. The feud that put Raw on the map
Santino Marella and Hornswoggle come out and hand out the new Wrestling Buddies to the kids.
Howard Finkle is in the ring to introduce the next match. Heath Slater is introduced by The Fink. Heath comes out and challenges a Raw Legend… Lita!
Match #4
Heath Slater vs Lita.
But Lita called for some protection. The APA came out, Heath tried to escape, but ran into a bunch of Raw Legends. DDP, Bob Backlund, Road Warrior Animal, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Doink, Vade, Sid, Sgt. Slaughter, Rikishi and others. JBL gives Heath the clothesline from hell, and Lita hits Slater with the moonsault.
Winner: Lita.
We get a recap of what happened earlier to Daniel Bryan. And look who is in the back, SEAN MOONEY! Old WWE analyst from the old days. Mooney speaks with Bryan about Sheens comments about Bryan. Bryan says that Sheen needs a lot more than anger management, but if Sheen was there, he would slap him in the face. Could this be Bryan vs Sheen at Summer Slam?
Michael Cole speaks with a fan by the name of Alex Guerrero. He is the 100,000,000th social media follower of WWE. He was live in the audience.
Fozzy Bear gives an overview of some of Raw’s most memorable catch phrases.
We see Zack Ryder, John Cena and Mean Gene Okerlund backstage, but The Rock appears and confronts Cena. Cena mentions that he is cashing in his MITB briefcase tonight, will take the WWE championship from Punk and will meet The Rock at The Royal Rumble.
Kane comes out for a match…
Jinder Mahal interrupts with Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins and other guys, indicating that they are never on Raw and want their moment and this match will not happen. As they are about to attack Kane, the lights go out and The Undertaker comes out. The Undertaker was on the very first Raw facing Damien Demento and here he is for episode 1000. The brothers of Destruction are united once again. Together, they wiped out the ring of everyone.
WWE profiles its “Be A Star” campaign that they were at the Boy and Girls club earlier in the day. PR moves FTW.
We get Sheen talking and he basically challenges Daniel Bryan. Yeah, this will happen at Summer Slam.
Match #5
For the WWE Championship
CM Punk (Champion) vs John Cena (Cashing in his MITB briefcase)
Cena has cashed in his MITB contract. Punk has been the WWE Champion for 217 days. Very impressive for today’s standards. We see some solid wrestling from the two immediately. Punk goes at him with some aggressive offense, but Cena goes for the strength factor. Punk clearly is out wrestling Cena and even mocks him a bit. While Cena relies on brawn, Punk relies on brains. Punk goes for the GTS, he cant hold Cena, ref bump, and Cena hits the AA. No Ref. Cena is pinning Punk, but The Big Show comes out and spears Cena in the ring, Show goes for the knockout punch and knocks out Cena. Punk looked on if he should pin Cena. Punk was hesitant, but he went to get the ref. The ref is now back in the ring and goes for the pin, Cena kicked out. It looked like as if Punk had the victory. Punk goes for the GTS again, and as the knee goes up, Cena locks Punk into the STF. Show comes back out and assaults Cena. Punk is DQ’s but is still the WWE Champion.
Winner: John Cena via DQ
Cena is now the 1st man to cash in MITB and not win the title. However, THE ROCK comes and is about to deliver the Peoples Elbow to The Big Show, but Punk CLOTHELINES The Rock!!! Punk give The Rock the GTS. Punk walk away slowly leaving with the WWE championship. Is Punk a heel??
Overall Grade.
WWE gave us a monumental show tonight! I went into this episode not expecting too much when it came to storyline, but sheer entertainment. Every queue was on point, seeing the stars from the past was a pure delight and we even got a balance of entertainment and storyline as well. Tonight show had a very PPV feel to it and it absolutely delivered. This was one of those episodes that will not be forgotten and always appreciated. I loved how it ended with us questioning CM Punk. Is he a heel? Could he be the new anti hero? Solid show overall. Criticism would be the 3 hour. I seriously am not sure if I can get used to this every week. Tonight is a special show, so 3 hours was fitting, but 3 hours may be overkill and somewhat undesirable. I really hope that WWE would take into consideration that the novelty will wear off soon, and make Raw into a double like show. First hour is all younger lesser known talent with different broadcasters and the next 2 hours are the main wrestlers on the Raw Roster. Especially considering that we’ve only had 5 matches in 3 hours. WWE, please consider this idea.
Overall Grade: A- (91%)
Maurice D. Proffit is a writer for Rant Sports
