Last week, eternal smark-favorite/flying headbutter/apex purveyor of monosyllabic chants Daniel Bryan joined the Wyatt Family. Where this story is going remains to be seen, as does its entertainment value, but anything Bryan is associated with is money, and a Bray Wyatt/Daniel Bryan association can’t be anything but amazingly enjoyable.
The real question isn’t “how fun will this be?” The answer is obviously “really really fun.” The real question is, “what does this mean for Bryan’s beard?”
I mean, look at him up there. That’s what D-Bry used to look like. We’ve been taking his amazing beard for granted, and I, for one, am worried about it.
Scenario 1 (best case): Beard status quo is maintained.
The Wyatt family is, for sure, a beard-friendly group. It’s not like Bryan is joining The Authority, who have already threatened to give him a haircut at least twice. The Wyatt family is a collection of unkempt individuals, and Bryan’s scruff would have made him an ideal candidate for the faction, even without his documented rage issues and problems with authority.
Here’s hoping that Bray Wyatt lets Bryan play to his strengths and keep that epic beard action rolling in 2014.
Scenario 2 (meh): Beard Stays, but is changed in some way.
In 2003, Spike Dudley went on a heel run with the Cruiserweight Championship. During that time, he had a goatee that rivaled Bryan’s own beard in terms of length. It went straight down from his chin and was awesome. It’s possible that Wyatt will want to further differentiate Bryan from the rest of his brood, and might require him to do a little Santino-style “manscaping.”
Scenario 3 (worst-case): The beard goes.
Bryan is his beard. That’s what the fans identify him with. When it came time to make a John Cena parody shirt during their tremendous feud, the beard is what Bryan used to put himself in binary opposition to Cena’s “Champ is Here” nonsense. “The Beard is Here” shirts sold like hotcakes, of course.
So maybe, just maybe, Bray Wyatt would make Bryan shave it off completely, as a display of loyalty to him, and as a signifier that Bryan is being rebuilt according to Wyatt’s wishes. It would set him apart from the persona that was so beloved by the fans, and it would make him stand out within the group. A clean-shaven Bryan would be the Dragon to Bray Wyatt’s Big Bad.
It’s a testament to how engaging a superstar Bryan is, that some simple “trimming” would cause massive anxiety within his fan base.