How Daniel Met His Title: The Aunt Robin Screwjob
It took a few days, but I finally got to see the ending of How I Met Your Mother. Spoiler Alert: Ted ends up with Robin after his wife Tracy passes away. It’s worth mentioning that she had a pretty hot terminal illness. I want my future wife to die looking that good.
Sadly, death in the HIMYM universe doesn’t come with the repackaging of a character and a new motorcycle. Instead, you get a tragic ending and the return of the blue horn. It was the type of ending that gave us all what we wanted, while still coming full circle (although, many with good memory are wondering what happened to the pineapple).
With Wrestlemania XXX on Sunday, the theme of this week might be “full circle.” Ted and Robin find their happily ever after, and Daniel Bryan might leave Wrestlemania’s main event as WWE World Heavyweight Champion. If that happens , everyone gets their wish, and yay! Bryan did it! (I’m still pulling for that Bury Movement).
When I say full circle though, yes, Bryan will become champion, but it won’t be the ending we expected. Just like how the ending of HIMYM mirrored the first episode where Ted stood outside Robin’s window with a blue horn, Wrestlemania will see an ending similar to the one we saw at Summerslam. Bryan wins, he thanks his parents for being there, and then all of a sudden Living Colour blasts through the arena. The CM Punk chants are answered.
If you know Triple H, he always has an ace in the hole ready for every scenario. Combine that with the McMahon Family’s money, and what you have is the most powerful heel in wrestling history. What we’ll learn following Bryan’s win is that this whole CM Punk situation has all been a ruse.
The Authority has a way of putting people in suits you’d never expect (for example, Kane and the New Age Outlaws). I think Punk will also join the Men’s Warehouse club (he’ll like the way he looks; the guy on TV guarantees it). With Bryan too tired from being in two matches, Triple H will sick his new toy on Bryan and pit him in a third match. If there was anything we learned from the Million Dollar Man, it’s that everyone has a price. So does Punk.
The ending to Wrestlemania will be very HIMYM-ish — Bryan overcomes the odds and wins at Wrestlemania. This would be the WWE Universe’s version of the romantic climax of Ted standing under the yellow umbrella with his soon-to-be wife.
Tragedy will then beget the happiness. In one fell swoop, the Yes Movement will be vanquished, Punk will return the way everyone wanted, and Triple H will have his new face of the company with his corporate WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Punk. It wasn’t the ending we expected, but in a way, it’s what we wanted. As great as Bryan is, Punk has always been our first true love, and it’ll take losing Bryan to realize this.
Bryan is Tracy, Punk is Robin, and we, in the WWE Universe, are Ted. With that said, Lily and Marshall are Triple H and Stephanie. I haven’t decided who Barney is yet.