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Soccer

Barcelona Beats PSG on Penalties, but Loses the Uniform Battle to Everyone Else

Barcelona 2012-2013 kits – fcbarcelona.com

 

Barcelona is back to its winning ways, besting Paris St.-Germain in penalty kicks following a 2-2 draw in the Trophée de Paris friendly on Saturday. After a busy transfer window in which PSG ostentatiously signed big-name stars like Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Thiago Silva (David Beckham was even rumored to be heading there last November), the French club is surely attempting to forge some much-needed gelling as it prepares for competitive matches. I think the chemistry looked fine, but they may want to up their practice from the penalty spot (maybe they can ask Team GB for advice, or at least invite them out for a pint in consolation).

But the real story, to us design-o-philes anyway, is Barcelona’s hideous, just god awful away kits (the orange and yellow ones, above). I mean, just look at those things. I wasn’t sure at first if PSG was playing Barcelona or a new team made entirely by former members and fans of Wham. I haven’t seen a more flamboyant kit since…well, ever, with Arsenal’s early ‘90s kit and Hull City’s unbeatable tiger stripes getting honorable mentions.

One online shop (that will go unnamed, for their sake) billed the kits thusly: “Rather than the somewhat convoluted message behind the home kit, the new away kit is an explosion of bright colour to celebrate the club’s effervescent style of play.” Right. Well an “explosion of bright colour” it surely is. Nobody could deny that this design, whatever else it is, is ultimately an explosion. Yep. A more explosive uniform you’d be hard-pressed to find.

And just to make it clear that I’m not a myopic, bright-color-hating purist, here is a brief list of uniforms that pulled it off 15,000 times better than Barça:

1. ‘90s Phoenix Suns
2. ‘70s Houston Astros
3. Miami Dolphins
4. Highway Construction Workers
5. These Guys