Joe Hart Needs His Head Examined – Not Shampooed

By Gary Troia


Joe Hart, courtesy of

Time was when a goalkeeper was seen as the tough, last-line of defence. There are many examples throughout football history of extraordinary feats of goalkeepers putting their bodies on the line to save their teams.

Probably the most famous example, though, is when Bert Trautman of Manchester City broke his neck in a match against Birmingham City, diving at the feet of a forward. Not only did he break his neck, he continued to play on to the end of the match, making saves and helping his team to a win. This was in 1956, and is now part of football folk-lore.

Joe Hart is the current Man city and England goalkeeper, but has ruined any chance of being seen in the same light as Bert, owing to the horrendous shampoo commercial he has made. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of other players have made extremely bad commercials, but they are just not in the same league as Joe Hart’s acting debut.

For instance: Gareth Southgate selling pizza with a bag on his head, Kevin Keegan splashing a cheap aftershave all over himself, and Gary Lineker hawking crisps (chips).

For my American cousins, and those that have not had the pleasure, let me explain it.  The opening scene has Hart rolling around on a pitch, clutching his head, whilst in a fetal position.

My first thought was that this is breaking news, and he had suffered a terrible head injury in a game, but it went on too long. My second reaction was that he suffers from mental problems, and was helping to raise awareness for a mental health organization.

But then on comes a physio, opens up his bag and brings out a bottle of shampoo!  Hart is now sitting up and the physio is lathering Joe’s hair in a seductive fashion.  I forgot to mention that the referee has blown his whistle, and the rest of the players are biding their time until Joe’s hair is done.

This is a man that earns a reputed £100,000 ($157, 000) a week – is he really that worried about not having enough to retire on, that he would demean himself for a few grand more. Yes, both of the above.

My advice to you, Joe, is concentrate on your football, get some new agents and leave commercials like that to actors who need the work.

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