In a story that is incredibly funny and stupid at the same time, Milwaukee police are investigating the theft of a $3,000 Italian Sausage costume that is used in sausage races during Milwaukee Brewers games. Those are facts; Milwaukee police are actually looking for the missing costume, but that’s not even the half of it.
First of all, how the heck does that thing cost $3,000? Sure, it’s funny and decently put together, but unless it has a built-in air conditioner with a water fountain inside and the legs are made of gold, there’s no logical reason for the Brewers’ organization to have spent three grand on it. And the Brewers have several such costumes for the races! So they probably spent nearly $20,000 just on these silly suits! And we wonder why ticket prices to sporting events keep rising…
The suit looks like a chef and was reportedly last seen bar-hopping in Milwaukee and posing for photos with fans. So whoever took it is having some fun with it before putting it on eBay and collecting three months’ rent. But this person can’t be that bright because eventually someone is going to notice an eight-foot sausage chef suit wondering through Milwaukee if they don’t see it on eBay first.
So this is the world we live in now. Not only is the suit worth $3,000 and missing, but it’s bar-hopping and it’s shaped like an Italian Sausage in a chef outfit. You just can’t make this stuff up.