The event formerly called the Redneck Olympics has had to change its name under pressure from the International Olympics Committee because the IOC is worried that folks will mistake events like the toilet seat toss and the greased watermelon race with events that are part of the real Games. Thus, the Redneck Olympics are now known as the Redneck Blank Games. The organizer, Harold Brooks, says that everyone knows what the blank stands for.
It doesn’t matter because the Redneck Olympics are better than the real Games. Why? Because there are no doping cheaters like Marion Jones and Lance Armstrong in the Redneck Games. The Redneck Olympics also have a pig roast and demolition derby, which are both way cooler than any of the ceremonies at the real Olympics.
But what is the biggest reason why are the Redneck Olympics better than the real Olympics? Because the Redneck Olympics have a wet t-shirt contest. I mean, who doesn’t love a good wet t-shirt contest? After a long day of watching the javelin throw and shot put, wouldn’t you like to sit back and watch a good, wholesome wet t-shirt contest? Think about it, Olympic dudes!