Hey there, my fellow NFL fans, it’s Week 6 of Tyrannosaurus Rant! Let’s get rolling with my bold predictions for this week’s NFL match ups!
The Denver Broncos enter their contest against the Jacksonville Jaguars this Sunday sporting the largest point spread in NFL history, with Denver spotting Jacksonville a ridiculous 28 points! On Friday, perennial failure/quarterbacking enthusiast Blaine Gabbert will again be announced as the team’s starter going into the game, causing Las Vegas lines makers to adjust the game’s point spread by favoring the Broncos by…one million points.
The Dallas Cowboys will match up against the Washington Redskins on Sunday night as Cowpokes signal-caller Tony Romo will lead the team to another come-from-behind-to-go-ahead-and-lose loss. For the second consecutive week, Romo will have a monster game, passing for over 500 yards and five touchdowns before throwing his lone interception to DeAngelo Hall while chocking to death on a cough drop.
The winless Tampa Bay Buccaneers will play host to the Philadelphia Eagles this week as backup quarterback Nick Foles will get the nod for Philly in lieu of starting signal-caller Michael Vick, who is dealing with lingering hamstring issues. After suffering a concussion in the third quarter, Foles will be replaced by the hobbled Vick who will rally the team to a miraculous come from behind victory. After the game, when asked about his gutsy performance filling in for Foles, Vick will respond by saying, “Man, it was a dogfight out there today. I mean, every dog has to die. What I meant to say was, every dog has its day, and today, I’m going to kill that dog.”
Matt Schaub of the Houston Texans will break his own record this weekend by throwing a pick six for a fifth straight game. Oh well, back to recording a sequel to Daredevil!
And finally, recently exiled Tampa Bay quarterback Josh Freeman is having the best week ever. After being released by the Bucs and collecting the remaining $5.9 million on his contract, Freeman signed with the Minnesota Vikings this weekend on a one-year deal worth an additional $3 million, making his year-end take a whopping $11.4 million. When asked what he was going to do to justify his [even larger] salary, Freeman responded by saying he was going to, “make it rain on The Field.” Needless to say, dancers at ‘The Field Gentlemen’s Club” in Tampa were very excited.
Well, my fellow NFL fanatics, those are my bold predictions for Week 6! Be sure to join me again next week as I give you more of tomorrow’s biggest NFL news today!