Celebrity Shame Shack: Lance Armstrong

Hey there, boys and girls, and welcome back to the Celebrity Shame Shack! This is the place where we take the world’s biggest, most egotistical celebrities, strip them down to their bare essentials and expose their indignities to the world! This week, taking their place in the Hall of Shame, we have former cycling legend and doping enthusiast Lance Armstrong.

When you think of the sport of professional cycling, Armstrong is the first name on the tip of everyone’s tongue. The guy won seven consecutive Tour de France titles and singlehandedly saved the sport from extinction. However, Lance was eventually discovered for being a liar, a doper and a cheater; landing him in a Tour de Shame while also earning a lifetime ban from the sport of cycling.

Only a few days ago, Lance decided to try his hand at the shame blame game by claiming that former International Cycling Union president Hein Verbruggen was directly involved with covering up his positive test for corticosteroids during the 1999 Tour de France.

Armstrong only escaped punishment from his ’99 doping allegations after the decision was made to backdate a prescription that was allegedly issued for “saddle sores.” In 2012, the United States Anti-Doping Agency accused Lance of doping and trafficking drugs based on past blood samples and testimony from former teammates. Oops. And now that his reputation and legacy have been tarnished by his shameful ways, Lance felt it to be appropriate to take the whole sport down with by throwing blame around as if it were a Jackson Pollock painting.

So for that, I say shame on you, Lance Armstrong! Shame on you for cheating because “everyone else was doing it”; shame on you for lying to our faces for over decade and thinking you weren’t going to get caught; and finally, shame on you for trying to bring down the sport you were the face of — because you can no longer show your own.

You’ve made millions of dollars and gained worldwide fame by being the one of the most successful cheaters in the history of sports and that, my friend, will be your legacy. You may have inspired millions by telling them to Livestrong, but none of that matters, when you yourself, are living a lie. So take a seat in the Shame Shack, because you sir, have certainly earned it.