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Tyrannosaurus Rant: Bold Predictions for NFL Week 12

Welcome back, my velico-ranters, to Tyrannosaurus Rant! Week 11 of the NFL season has come and gone but Week 12 is just around the bend, so put away your Tamagotchis, turn down your Walkman and listen up, because my bold predictions and cogitations are coming at you right now!

First up, in his team’s game against the Jacksonville Jaguars on Sunday, Arizona Cardinals running back Andre Ellington received a haircut courtesy of Jaguars defensive linemen Jason Babin. After seeing that, I will no longer be advocating Babin’s attempt to start a new barber chain.

Next, New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan treated his players to a day of arcade games at Dave and Busters this past Saturday. Rex stated that he thought the trip would be a good way for his offense to build camaraderie and experience…and what scoring a lot of points feels like.

The Buffalo Bills gained national attention this week for their first highlight worthy play of the season, when a fan decided to jump from the third deck of Ralph Wilson Stadium. Many Bills supporters are calling this local man a hero, as he only did what the rest of city was already thinking.

Atlanta Falcons fullback Jason Snelling was arrested last Friday after an early morning traffic stop. Upon smelling a strong odor of marijuana coming from the vehicle, the officer asked Snelling to open his mouth, and observed several leafy green particles inside. All in all, Snelling was charged with failure to maintain a lane, failure to maintain insurance, an expired license and wasting a bunch of perfectly good weed.

San Francisco 49ers linebacker Ahmad Brooks was flagged for a controversial roughing the passer penalty against the New Orleans Saints this week. The call was so disputed that former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis called it, “The most embarrassing call in the NFL since…he was acquitted for murder.”

This week, Jersey City mayor Steven Fulop received a letter at his office containing a mysterious white powder and a picture of Tim Tebow. When Fulop was asked if he thought the letter was actually from the out-of-work quarterback, he responded by saying, “No, I don’t think it was from Tim because if it was, there’s no way I would have received it.

And finally, coming off their first win of the season last week, the Jaguars lost to the Cardinals this past Sunday and…all was right with the world.

Well that’s a wrap for Week 12, party people! Thanks for stopping by and be sure to come back to see me again next week as I give you more of tomorrow’s biggest NFL news, today!