By RanterX on June 9, 2014
There are some athletes you see, and your first thought is "Man, I'd really love to punch him in the face." So go through the list and clench those fists.
Mr. Purple Lips is that annoying fly in your house that you just can't kill. With his PED use and year-long suspension from baseball, he'll never be able to walk down the street without getting criticism. He's pure scum.
Why Bryce Harper? He named his dog "Swag." Are you kidding me? Someone punch this guy in the face, please.
Matt Cookie says he's a different person and that he's found God. How nice of him after ending the career of Boston Bruin Marc Savard. He doesn't need a punch -- he needs a barrage of punches.
Subban is someone who would make my punch look even more devastating since he flops so well. I give the nod to Subban because of his constant embellishment. Leave that garbage for basketball and soccer.
Ndamukong Suh's dirty style of play got him the title of "least-liked player" in a Nielsen report. Stomping on Green Bay Packer Evan Dietrich-Smith will do that to you.
Rumor has it LeBron James will be making a serious investment in the air conditioning business. King James took his talents and cramps to South Beach. Quitting on his team in the Finals also solidifies his place on this list.
Steve 'Ott' to be punched. Ha! See what I did there? Yet another dirty hockey player who is known for eye gouging Travis Moen.
I don't have enough space to name off all the reasons why people want to punch Dwight Howard. He demanded trades, wanted coaches fired -- you name it, Howard did it. Orlando wanted to punch him and so did Los Angeles. It's only a matter of time before Houston wants to punch him. That would just be another injury for D12.
I love dogs, so I don't love Michael Vick. His illegal dog fighting ring got him in some serious hot water. I'm honestly surprised he was let back into the football. Punches and dog bites are welcome here.
Who needs to punch when you can bite a finger? Alex Burrows really put his teeth on the map when he bit the finger of Boston Bruin Patrice Bergeron during the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs. I mean really, who bites a grown man's finger?
Alfredo Aceves gives one of my favorite pasta sauces a bad name. He's been a constant headache in the major leagues when quite frankly, he's not that great. He would change his pitching delivery on the fly, constantly defy management, and even had an outburst with then-manager Bobby Valentine. Weirdo.
My problem with David Price is quite recent. After supposedly hashing things out with David Ortiz in the offseason, he hit Ortiz in his first at-bat this season. That's just bush league.
Ah yes, Raffi Torres -- basically everything that is wrong with the NHL, stems from Torres. His list of dirty hits is as long as Santa's naughty list.
If Eli Manning threw a punch at me, I feel like it would somehow get intercepted. So many punches for you, Manning. So many punches.
Can I punch Sidney Crosby just for his mustache? No? Okay, I'll go on. He's a classic diver, just like P.K. Subban. He complains at the drop of a hat, and his mustache is awful. Did I mention he dives? Just play the game, man. Oh, and please shave.
LIVESTRONG! Lance Armstrong is such a fraud. He might be the king of frauds. After everything he stood for, only to be caught doping, this guy deserves a swift left hook.
Well, at least Ryan Braun isn't a cheater, right? Ugh, what a mess this guy is. He is the exact reason why baseball has such a black eye when it comes to PED usage. Ladies and Gentlemen, your NL MVP is a current PED user! Awesome. Let me explain this one to my kid when I'm telling him not to take drugs of any kind.
Does anyone's celebrations make you cringe more than Chris Bosh's? I can't watch Jurassic Park anymore without thinking Bosh is in the movie as one of the raptors. They resemble each other too well.
Kobe taught the world a very valuable lesson: If you cheat on your woman, all you need to do is buy her a big diamond and things will be better. Well, for all the guys who simply make their woman upset and can't afford a big diamond, you give them false hope, Kobe. Side note: you're super arrogant.
Another great example of baseball and all its glory. Barry Bonds played for one reason: Barry Bonds. Demanding two lockers in the locker room and being cold toward fans puts him on the list. Oh, and he beat Hank Aaron's all-time home run record with a needle sticking out of his behind.
I don't actually mind Floyd Mayweather that much, but I'd still punch him in the face just so I could say I did. I'd get knocked right out, though. But in reality, Mayweather is the cockiest of the cocky. He does back it up, but his opponents are always the ones questioned. Is he really fighting the best of the best? Also, hanging out with Justin Bieber doesn't score any points with me.
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