New York Mets 2014 All-Name Team
Your 2014 New York Mets All-Name Team
Covering the New York Mets can sometimes get a little frustrating. Just like fans, writers want the team to make the big offseason move, land the biggest free agents, develop the right minor leaguers, quiet down championship talk, exciting stuff like that.
And just like Mets fans, us writers know these kinds of stories come along few and far between. Too far. Frustration can build and sometimes you have to have a little laugh.
In the spirit of baseball fun and releasing a little steam, I've come up with your New York Mets All-Name Team!
The Mets have assembled quite the collection of names for 2014. No, I don’t mean superior All-Star players that any fan would instantly recognize. I mean a lot of guys with interesting names. Some are already MLB players, some are going to take time before you see them on the Mets' MLB roster – if ever.
But this isn’t about talent, it’s about funny names, interesting names, names that are simply enjoyable to say and names that might give the Mets their first shot at history this season.
The selection process was a little tougher than anticipated, but when the final list didn’t include Kirk Nieuwenhuis, Brandon Nimmo, Kevin Plawecki, Steven Matz or either of the Young Duo (Chris Young and Eric Young, Jr.), I felt pretty satisfied with the results.
So, here we go around the diamond with the 10 best names of the Mets’ 2014 season. Know anyone I missed or have a dispute with one of the finalists? Leave your own list in the comments section!
Jacob deGrom, Starting Pitcher
Jacob deGrom gets us going as the Name Team's starting pitcher, position No. 1 in your scorecard, last on your mind. Appropriate because deGrom's surname, while not particularly as wild as his strikeout total (283 Ks in 2013), puts us on our first step towards an obscure historical footnote.
2013 Stats: (Minor Leagues) 26 Games Played, 17-11 Win-Loss, 3.76 ERA, 285.0 IP
Travis d'Arnaud, Catcher
Travis d'Arnaud is the New York Mets' catcher of the future with among the best defensive qualifications in the National League -- and d'Arnaud is just plain fun to say. For a while, I couldn't stop saying it myself. d'Arnaud. d'Arnaud. d'Arnaud.
2013 Stats: (with New York Mets) 31 Games Played, .202 BA, 1 HR, 5 RBI
Josh Satin, First Base
Being one letter off of "Satan" is an automatic bid. Does Josh Satin have something to hide behind those beady eyes and thick, black eyebrows? Add a goatee and pitchfork to his picture and we might have discovered the source of the New York Mets' woes. Somebody around here owes a soul.
2013 Stats: (with New York Mets) 75 Games Played, .279 BA, 3 HR, 19 RBI
Daniel Muno, Second Base
Muno! Muno! Muno! Muuuuunnnnooooo, Muuuuunnnnooooo...Daniel Muno gets the nod at second because short, odd names have versatility that the Daisuke Matsuzaka's and Anthony Seratteli's of the world can't compete with. And they don't play the position. Plus, Daniel Murphy, Muno's main competition, might actually qualify for the most boring name on the Mets.
2013 Stats: (Minor Leagues) 127 Games Played, .249 BA, 9 HR, 67 RBI
Zach Lutz, Third Base
This one's easy. Two "Z's" and Lutz rhymes with putz? Makes me think of uber-sucker J.D. Lutz from "30 Rock?" As long as Zach Lutz doesn't make me think of J.J. Putz, he can stay aboard.
2013 Stats: (with New York Mets) 15 Games Played, .300 BA, 0 HR, 2 RBI
Omar Quintanilla, Shortstop
O-Mar Kwin-Tah-Knee-Ya!!! Isn't that just awesome? OK, I grew up in a Latin town but never learned a lick of Spanish. Maybe there's a twinge of regret tied to this selection, but Omar Quintanilla passes the fun-to-say test with flying colors. Rue-Ben Tay-Hah-Dah just doesn't have the same panache. Q's in.
2013 Stats: (with New York Mets) 95 Games Played, .222 BA, 2 HR, 21 RBI
Dustin Lawley, Right Field
Dustin Lawley takes home two prizes in this year's voting -- starting right fielder for the All-Name Team, as well as its MVP by sweeping the "Could Also Be" category with the Adult Movie Actor/Inept Private Investigator/Bad Commercial Ambulance Chaser trifecta. Way to go, Dustin!
2013 Stats: (Minor Leagues) 128 Games Played, .262 BA, 26 HR, 96 RBI
Matt den Dekker, Center Field
And here we are! Matt den Dekker holds the key to MLB history in his hands. If he (possible), Travis d'Arnaud (likely) and Jacob deGrom (highly unlikely) all make the 2014 Mets, it will be the first team to have three players whose last name starts with a lower-case "d."
Is this not exciting stuff? Are you not amazed? Oh. Well, den Dekker, which also sounds like a power tool or the villain in some movie where Bruce Willis saves the world, plays a fantastic center field, as well.
2013 Stats: (with New York Mets) 27 GP, .207 BA, 1 HR, 6 RBI
Lucas Duda, Left Field
Lucas Duda needs to catch a break somewhere this spring, so here's a little something to motivate him. I don't know if his name is quite as hysterical as, say, watching him play outfield, but that's what we call a "two-fer." It's like a double whammy, except that if Duda hits anything down in Florida, he's going to be the Mets' starting first baseman.
2013 Stats: (with New York Mets) 100 Games Played, .223 BA, 15 HR, 33 RBI
Gonzalez Germen, Relief Pitcher
As a fan of those with two first names, I have to throw a line to my strange-name brethren with two last names. Gonzalez Germen, with an "e," gets double credit for clever alliteration and a bonus point for inspiring my forthcoming novel, "Gonzalez the Ginormouz Germen." I don't know what it's about yet, but I'm totally calling shotgun on that title.
Also of note, Wikipedia tells us that "germen" is an archaic root of the word "germ," or "seed." Now that the fun is over, it's time to get back down to the business of watching this team "grow" into a squad that'll at least provide some entertainment this year.
After this, no one is dying to see my "All Shoe Size Team" or suffer through any more bad puns, I'm sure. Let's go Mets!
2013 Stats: (with New York Mets) 29 Games Played, 1-2 Win-Loss, 3.93 ERA, 34.1 IP