The Bribing of Dwight Howard Is Getting Seriously Weird

By Kaylyn Neely

Now that Chris Paul has verbally agreed to a new contract, Dwight Howard is the most eligible free agent in the NBA free agent pool.

The Los Angeles Lakers have recognized that there is a real risk of losing Howard to another team. And so, they began a kind of creepy tampering campaign to try and pressure Howard into inking a five-year contract that has included billboards and phone calls from celebrities. And these aren’t even the oddest moves being made to entice D12.

Long-time Lakers fan, Jack Nicholson has been enlisted by the team to sweeten the pot. According to USA TODAY, Nicholson personally called Howard. Now, basically everyone has started to follow the Lakers example.

A phone call from Nicholson doesn’t measure up to the offer made by a Dallas restaurant that has offered to serve Howard free chicken fingers for life if he signs with the Dallas Mavericks. Raising Cane’s is the restaurant that stepped up and put the offer on the table. With 20 locations in the Dallas area, the greater Los Angeles area is definitely slacking on the benefits front. Los Angeles based eateries aren’t even in the game yet. In fact, Howard probably has to pay full price at the Staples Center concession stand.

Dallas and Los Angeles can’t even touch Houston rapper Slim Thug’s offers though. Via Twitter, Thug has offered to be Howard’s wingman while also offering advice on real estate in the Houston area. Thug smartly pointed out that Houston is much cheaper than LA, using James Harden as an example:

Even better than accepting the extra $30 million that the Lakers can offer, moving to Houston would be a great financial move for Howard, as Thug kindly pointed out.

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