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Yadi Being Yadi: Yadier Molina is Mr. Clutch
St. Louis, Mo – The ladies of St. Louis swoon at the very mention of his name. Their knees buckle as they faint at the sight of him while gentlemen try to figure out this strange obsession with the Cardinals starting catcher. Whatever it is that forces girl’s heard to skip a beat over Yadier [...]
Cards release Romero, Call up Sanchez | Quick Hitters
St. Louis, Mo – The St. Louis Cardinals have released 2008 World Series champion, J.C. Romero and called up the young right handed pitcher, Eduardo Sanchez, from Triple-A Memphis to join them for tonight’s match-up against the Chicago Cubs. J.C. Romero’s release comes after three consecutive catastrophic appearances; this span includes the Cardinals May [...]
Power Leads to Cardinals First Sweep
Go into your closet, kids, and break out your mother’s favorite broom because finally, ladies and gentlemen, the Cardinals have finished off a sweep. St. Louis victimized the Arizona Diamondbacks in all three games of the series as they outscored the desert rats 22-9. It is almost a mystical wonder that the Red Birds, who [...]
Don’t Mess With the Carlos Beltran
Taking a cue from “Jesus” in the “Big Lebowski,” Carlos Beltran is informing opposing pitchers “Don’t mess (censored version) with the Beltran.” The newest power hitting member of the Cardinals has proved to be just what the doctor ordered for St. Louisans to forget about a certain former first baseman that decided to venture westward. [...]
Aggressiveness Will Pay Off For Cardinals
St. Louis, Mo. – It’s a three – two game in the bottom of the ninth with the edge belonging to the Milwaukee Brewers. There is one out with runners on first and third. One of the team’s most clutch hitters, Yadier Molina, is up to bat; speed is on the base paths with Carlos [...]
LYNNsational: Lance Lynn Dominant for Red Birds
St. Louis, Mo – Please pardon the horrible use of the overused alteration of such a tasteful word in the title of this article. The success of the NBA’s Jermey Lynn and the resulting “LYNNsainty” seems to still be having a wide affect despite his demise in the latter part of the season. He’s managed [...]
CARDS TRAVEL TO CHICAGO: Series Preview
The St. Louis Cardinals (11-5) are traveling to the “Friendly Confines” of Wrigley Field today as they start a three game series against the Chicago Cubs (4-12). The defending 2011 World Series Champions are currently 2-1 against the 1908 World Series Champions. The Red Birds lone loss to the teddy bear’s came on via a [...]
Pujols Who? Beltran Dominate at Plate for Cardinals.
St. Louis, Mo – St. Louisans have been coming up with creative ways to defame their Pujols jerseys since the start of the season. Some Cardinals fans have placed a dollar sign with a “2” and a “0” on either side of the once would-be classic “5” to create a nice “Pujols $250” jersey while [...]
Berkman Expected to Return to Cardinals Lineup
St. Louis, Mo – The area’s most popular Puma is expected to return the Cardinal’s lineup tonight after a four game hiatus. The 36 year old, Lance Berkman, has been riding the pine since being diagnosed with a strained left calf a week ago. Berkman was hitting .375 in his five games prior to taking [...]
CARDINALS HOST REDS: Series Preview
St. Louis, Mo – The St. Louis Cardinals (7-3) are set to host their second series of the year as the Cincinnati Reds (4-6) come to town. The Red Birds are currently 2-1 this season against the Reds. The last time the two teams met up was April 9th through April 11th in Cincinnati. This [...]



