Tyrannosaurus Rant: Bold Predictions for NFL Week 9

Hello everyone! It’s that’s time of the week again, so bust out your beer helmets and dust off your novelty sized foam fingers, because T-Rant: Week 9 is starting right…now.

Only one hour after Sunday’s loss to the New England Patriots, Miami Dolphins center Mike Pouncey was approached by Massachusetts State Police and given a grand jury subpoena related to the investigation of his former college buddy, Aaron Hernandez. When asked after practice this week, what it was like having just gotten served, Pouncey responded by saying, “Ah man, it was embarrassing, I mean, those cops didn’t like a single one of my dance moves!”

Our next news comes from across the pond as the San Francisco 49ers laid waste to the Jacksonville Jaguars in this past Sunday’s 42-10 London town beat down. When asked after the game what his impressions were of American football, local British fan Lawrence Davies responded by saying, “I never thought a game of American football, could be even more boring as a game of soccer. I meant to say football, not soccer. Crickets I said it again! You stupid American’s ruining our bloody language…Slytherin!

Next up, the defending Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens will be making the trip to Cleveland this week to… show the city what a successful sports franchise looks like.

Finally, in this Sunday’s matchup against the heavily-favored Seattle Seahawks, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will pull a ‘Varsity Blues’ on head coach Greg Schiano by refusing to step out of the tunnel with him to start the second half. After the game, starting Tampa Bay signal-caller Mike Glennon will be asked what he said to Schiano before leading the team out the tunnel after halftime. Glennon will respond by saying, “I told him, that coaching football at Tampa Bay might be the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don’t want your life!”

Well that’s a wrap for Week 9 party people, but be sure to join me again next week as I give you more of tomorrow’s biggest news, today!