Honey Badger Award for Extracurricular Excellence: Week 16
Week 16 of the Honey Badger Award for Extracurricular Excellence award race is one of the busiest we’ve seen in some time, and, of course, this makes sense given the fact spring practices are now well in the rearview and the allure of summer’s free time is just too overwhelming to handle.
A combination of heroin dealing, lying to police, pot possession, domestic violence, and malicious wounding — yeah, I know — are at the forefront of this week’s new entrants onto the leaderboard.
The stupidest of the stupid this week are the three Pittsburgh Panthers players — linebacker Eric Williams, tight end Andrew Carswell, and defensive lineman Khaynin Mosely-Smith who were arrested in the Oakland neighborhood of Pittsburgh on Thursday night with 20 bags of heroin, a bong and a copper grinder.
Obviously, these guys were inspired by the Velvet Underground:
Stick with the pot, fellas. The hard stuff gets ya nowheres.
Marshall Thundering Herd running back Kevin Grooms was arrested for obstruction and underage consumption after being pulled over by Huntington, West Virginia police this past Sunday. Ho hum.
The Colorado State Rams enter the race this week due to the actions of freshman defensive end Johnny Schupp who was arrested earlier in the week along with a 19-year old female CSU student for third-degree assault and domestic violence. The details are muddy here, but regardless, dumb is dumb.
Miami Hurricanes linebacker Gabe Terry was arrested this week for pot possession of less than an ounce. Ho hum.
The most disturbing arrest of the week, however, belongs to Virginia Tech Hokies running back Michael Holmes, who was arrested for simple assault and malicious wounding after his role in a bar fight which turned ugly. The malicious wounding charge could turn into a felony if it leads to prosecution, which would likely force Frank Beamer’s hand.
Moral of the story is always the same — booze + weapons + anytime after midnight on el clocko equals bad f’ing news.
Anyhoo– here’s this week’s updated leaderboard for Week 16:
|Alabama Crimson Tide||12||Four Man Assault for Snacks|
|Washington State Cougars||7||Pullman Party Shenanigans Including Cracked Skulls
Drew Loftus Pantsing Tequila
Leon Brooks DUI
|Kansas Jayhawks||6||Ben Heeney Battering Bouncers
Nick Sizemore Drunkenly Hitting Parked Cars
|Pittsburgh Panthers||6||Erik Williams, Andrew Carswell, Khaynin Mosely-Smith Slanging Horse|
|Syracuse Orange||6||Markus Pierce-Brewester & Davon Wells Electronics Fetish|
|Texas Longhorns||6||Cayleb Jones Cracking Jaws
Connor Brewer Dorm Room MIP
Kendall Sanders College Station DWI
|Florida Gators||4||Jessamen Dunker Grand Theft Moped
Louchiez Purifoy Pot Possession
|Penn State Nittany Lions||4||Zayd Issah Fake Lettuce for BigMacs
Akeel Lynch Criminal Mischief
|West Virginia Mountaineers||4||Karl Joseph Domestic Violence
Travis Bell DWI
|Colorado Buffaloes||3||Samson Kafovalu MIC & Other Bad Decisions|
|Colorado State Rams||3||Johnny Schupp Domestic Violence|
|USC Trojans||3||Junior Pomee Grand Theft Apple Products|
|Utah Utes||3||Niasi Leota Extreme Domestic Violence|
|Virginia Tech Hokies||3||Michael Holmes Malicious Wounding at a Bar Fight (eek)|
|Georgia Bulldogs||2||Ty Flournoy-Smith Reporting False Crime|
|Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders||2||Shaun White Burglary|
|Tennessee State Titans||2||Mike German / Joe Johnson Dance Party!|
|Texas A&M Aggies||2||Kirby Ennis Gun Charge|
|Western Kentucky Hilltoppers||2||Kene Anyigbo Pot Eating & Dark Driving|
|Arkansas Razorbacks||1||Austin Flynn DWI|
|Florida International Panthers||1||Prince Matt Pot Possession|
|Florida State Seminoles||1||James Wilder Failure to Appear|
|Iowa State Cyclones||1||Willie Scott Pot Possession|
|Marshall Thundering Herd||1||Kevin Grooms Underage Consumption|
|Miami Hurricanes||1||Gabe Terry Pot Possession|
|North Carolina State Wolfpack||1||Logan Winkles DUI|
|Ole Miss Rebels||1||Philander Moore Living Up to His Name|
|Utah State Aggies||1||Jake Doughty’s Love Affair With Substances|
|Washington Huskies||1||Austin Sefarian-Jenkins One Man Car Accident|
* 3 points for each arrest which involves bodily harm or theft.
* 2 points for alcohol or drug offenses (i.e. dealing) that aren’t DUIs or non-theft arrests.
* 1 point for garden-variety DUIs, pot possession, and other miscellaneous low-level shenangians.
This list will certainly not get shorter — check back with us Week 17 as it grows, and grows, and grows…..
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