Matt Bloom (Prince Albert) Returns to the WWE as Lord Tensai

Published: 2nd Apr 12 9:10 pm
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by Bryan Lutz
MLB Featured Columnist; Follow me @Lutzifer35
Matt Bloom (Prince Albert) Returns to the WWE as Lord Tensai
Photo Courtesy: WhatCulture.com

Forgot about the return of The Rock and possibly Brock Lesnar! We have Prince Albert back! Matt Bloom, better known as Prince Albert or A-Train, returned to the WWE tonight as the Japanese one man wrecking crew, Lord Tensai. Because when I think of the name Matt Bloom, I think of a person who is from Japanese culture.

Of course, in true WWE fashion, they have to utilize the most egregious Japanese stereotypes when packaging someone. Bloom had Japanese lettering on his head, and was accompanied to the ring by a Sensei of sorts. For those who didn’t know about the return of Bloom, they realized it the second he took off his headgear, showing his patented unique piercings. Tensai annihilated Alex Riley in a pure squash match, concluding his victory by spitting in his hand and give Riley some sort of brain-sucker maneuver.

The biggest shock of all was the hairless body of Bloom. When Bloom was in his prime, he was known for his piercings and body hair. He wasn’t necessarily as hairy as George “The Animal” Steele, but he still would have made a good rug.

Bloom was last seen in the WWE in 2004 as a jobber. He was eliminated in the Royal Rumble that year by the eventual winner, Chris Benoit. If only the WWE has any documentation of Benoit doing anything. Hey, maybe Bloom is still eligible in the Rumble! Since that Rumble, he was traded to Raw, tore his rotator cuff, and was eventually released towards the end of 2004.

After leaving the WWE, like most wrestlers, Bloom tried the independent circuit before settling in Japan. Being an all-star wrestler in Japan isn’t as embarrassing as it sounds. It’s not like Roosevelt Brown dominating the Japanese baseball league. Japanese wrestling is intense and their wrestlers are some of the best in the world. Also, Japan has some of the craziness hardcore wrestling in the world. I once saw a Hardcore Japanese pay-per-view for like five bucks and a guy brought out a cactus. A friggin cactus!

Well, that’s all I got on the return of Matt Bloom. I’m sure he will be buried on the mid-card soon enough.

Welcome back, Albert.

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